Chapter 1: Understanding Silence
Why do you call your religion the first and the last religion?
It is a little difficult for me to speak again. It has been difficult always, because I have been trying to speak the unspeakable. Now it is even more so.
After one thousand, three hundred and fifteen days of silence, it feels as if I am coming to you from a totally different world. In fact it is so. The world of words, language, concepts, and the world of silence are so diametrically opposite to each other, they don’t meet anywhere. They can’t meet by their very nature. Silence means a state of wordlessness; and to speak now, it is as if to learn language again from abc. But this is not a new experience for me; it has happened before too.
For thirty years I have been speaking continuously. It was such a tension because my whole being was pulled toward silence, and I was pulling myself toward words, language, concepts, philosophies. There was no other way to convey, and I had a tremendously important message to convey; there was no way to shirk the responsibility. I had tried it. The day I realized my own being, it was such a fulfillment that I became silent. There was nothing left to be asked.
One of my professors at university, who was a world renowned man, Dr. S.K.Saxena - he had been a professor of philosophy in America for many years - again and again used to ask me to ask him some question. And those were the days when I was so fulfilled and so content, there was no question, no quest left.
So I used to say to him, “I have answers; I don’t have any questions.”
He used to laugh and say that I am crazy: “How can you have answers without questions?”
I insisted to him, “While you have questions you will never have answers. Unless your questioning drops away you will not find the answer. And it does not come in the form of an answer, but it answers all; not answering any particular question but simply answering all questions - possible, impossible, probable, improbable.”