Chapter 1: This Disappearance Is Anatta
Before my sannyasin started arguing with U.G. Krishnamurti, he was just a great saint, so silent, so peaceful. As the argument began, he was afraid to be caught, he could not answer the questions, and anger suddenly arose. He may not have been aware of that anger, but my sannyasin helped him! He wanted to get rid of the sannyasin.
It is U.G. Krishnamurti who is not an authentic or sincere man - but you can fall into the trap because he is repeating beautiful phrases. His memory is good, and his intellect is good, but this is the shadow.
Even the original man, J. Krishnamurti, used to become very angry just seeing my sannyasins. I had told my sannyasins everywhere that wherever J. Krishnamurti speaks, you just sit in the front row. At that time sannyasins were wearing red clothes, they had the mala with my photo in the locket, so they were absolutely recognizable.
The moment J. Krishnamurti would see my sannyasins all around, he would forget on what subject he was going to speak. He would start condemning me, and condemning sannyas. This man was talking for his whole life about awareness, and he had forgotten the subject completely. And it was not only once - because my sannyasins were everywhere. Wherever he was going to speak - in London, in San Francisco, in Mumbai, in New Delhi, in Madras - wherever he was going to speak, my sannyasins were there just in the front rows.
He was so allergic that the moment he would see the sannyasins he would lose all control. At some times he even started beating his head saying, “Why do you come here? I am against sannyas.” And I had told my people, “Laugh joyously! Make him as angry as possible! That will bring out the original man which is hiding behind.” He could not even understand why this was happening everywhere, that he was being distracted. He would start condemning me, condemning sannyas, and become almost neurotic.
Seeing my sannyasins laughing was almost like putting more fuel on the fire, and he would become more and more angry. He could not understand why these people didn’t feel offended, but on the contrary, they were laughing. His whole time would be taken up by the sannyasins.
It is very easy to talk about beautiful things, to have an intellectual grasp. Krishnamurti had been forced by the theologians of a particular brand, the Theosophical Society. It was a worldwide organization in the beginning of this century, and it was preparing J. Krishnamurti to be a world teacher.
Nobody can prepare anybody to be a world teacher; anything that has been prepared is going to be false. They almost tortured him in the name of discipline. They got hold of him at the age of nine, and from that moment he was not allowed to move in the world, he was not allowed to go into society. He was continuously hammered with scriptures. Early in the morning at three o’clock, he had to get up, take a cold bath, and be ready for the theosophists, the leaders of the movement, who would recite Sanskrit scriptures, Tibetan scriptures, Zen scriptures. And he was almost asleep - a nine-year-old child. And this went on up to his twenty-fifth year.