Chapter 28: A Synthesis of Love and Awareness
I feel very confused in my head.
[Osho asks her to show where she feels her energy, she indicates her head and upper chest. He places a small handmade wooden box on her head telling her to hold it there with both hands, and then to allow the energy to move as it wants. She remains still, just a little movement.] You are holding.
Fear prevents me from letting go.
Once you drop the fear, confusion will disappear. Fear is more basic to you than confusion.
I’m so distracted sometimes.
Yes it is fear.fear distracts. It creates confusion too because you are moving into the unknown. Being with me is moving into the unknown. Nothing is clear for you, cannot be. You have to trust me.
I know you do, but the fear is there.a certain trembling inside. Not that you don’t trust me; you don’t trust yourself - and that creates the fear. Because of that fear the mind gets confused. So the real problem is how to drop the fear.
Your confusion is not of the mind - it is more of the heart, and the energy is around the heart. Once you drop the fear there will be a sudden jump. So after the Primal do this experiment again before me. Primal will help bring the fear out, and then you will be able to move more relaxedly. It is there, but somehow you manage it. It is very subtle and you may not even be aware of how you are managing it. But it will go - Primal is going to help.
And keep this [the box] with you. You can try a few times alone, by yourself. Put the box on your head and try it. Once you get into the spirit, this box can be a great experiment. It can make your whole body tremble like a leaf in a strong wind. And you will feel so bathed, so fresh after it, and all confusion will disappear. Try!
An Australian sannyasin who had just returned after a visit home had been interviewed on television in Australia about sannyas.