Chapter 6: Awakening
A man is fragmentarily conscious: a part of him has become conscious. That creates the whole problem. The remaining, the greater part, remains unconscious. Man has become two. One part is conscious, the remaining whole is unconscious. A discontinuity has happened in man. He is not one whole. He is not one piece. He is double. The duality has come in. He is just like an iceberg, floating in the ocean: one-tenth is out of the water, nine-tenths is hidden underneath. The same is the proportion of human consciousness and unconsciousness: one-tenth of consciousness has become conscious, nine-tenths of consciousness is still in the unconscious. Just the top layer is conscious, and the whole being remains underneath in deep darkness.
Of course there are going to be problems, because a conflict has arisen in the being. You have become two; and the conscious part is so small that it is almost impotent. It can talk, it is very articulate; it can think but when the moment comes to do something, it is the unconscious which is needed because the unconscious has the energy to do it. You can decide that you will not be angry again, but this decision comes from the impotent part of the mind, that part which is conscious; which can see that anger is futile, harmful, poisonous; which can see the whole situation, and decide. But the decision has no power behind it, because all power belongs to the whole which is still unconscious. The conscious part decides, “I will not be angry again,” and it is not - until the situation arises. When the situation arises, the conscious is pushed aside, and the unconscious surfaces. It is vital, it is forceful, it has energy, and suddenly you are overpowered. The conscious may try a little while, but it is useless - against the tide it is nothing. When the unconscious becomes a tide and comes to take over a situation, you are possessed, you are no more yourself as you know yourself to be, your ego is thrown off-gear.
All the decision taken by your conscious are simply insignificant: it is the unconscious which does things. Again, when the situation has gone, the unconscious recedes and the conscious comes back onto the throne. The conscious comes on the throne only when the unconscious is not there.
It is like a servant. When the emperor is not there the servant sits on the throne and orders. Of course, nobody is there to listen to him, he is alone. When the emperor comes the servant simply has to leave the throne and listen to the emperor. The bigger part of you always remains the emperor, the lesser part remains like a servant.
Then much conflict arises, because the part that decides cannot act, and the part that acts cannot decide. The part that sees things can think about them, but has no energy; and the part that cannot see, is completely blind, has all the energy.