Chapter 2: The Real Difficulty Is to Be With Me
Perspiration keeps you at a constant inner temperature. When it is too hot you perspire. The glands all over your body are full of water. In the case of it being too hot, they will release the water. They will deceive the sun. The water is released, and the sun starts evaporating it. The sun does not penetrate inside you; it has been prevented by the perspiration - completely befooled. It becomes engaged in evaporation and your inner temperature remains exactly the same.
If it is cold you don’t perspire; if it is cold you shiver. Shivering makes you hot - it is a movement against the cold. Shivering keeps you at the same temperature. So whether it is hot or cold, your body is capable of maintaining the same temperature, because its life is very limited: it can survive only within twelve degrees of temperature, from 98 to 110. Below 98 you die, above 110 you are finished. The temperature has to be kept constant - it is immensely necessary for the life process.
But if you are writing a story or creating an imaginary idea, you can put anything in it - like Mahavira never perspires. And then that becomes the criterion for the Jainas. They cannot accept anybody as really realized unless they see that, standing naked, he is not perspiring in the hot sun.
It is very easy to create gods out of the past. There was a time when Mahavira was a contemporary man. His contemporaries never recognized him as a god. Buddha and Mahavira were contemporaries. Neither of them recognized the other as a god - what to say of other people? They had their definitions, and no living being can remain limited within your definitions.
So it is easier for people who are far away, for whom I am almost not a contemporary. They can create any kind of qualities they want in me; they can hallucinate any ideas around me. They have a free choice to dream about me. Their dedication and their love and their commitment is a dream phenomenon. And they will feel very good, very centered, very happy that they have found a man who fits absolutely with their idea of how a man should be. They have not found him; they have created, they have invented him.
But to be near to me, you will have to drop your expectations - which everybody has in very subtle ways - and particularly with me because I am persistent that I should not fulfill anybody’s expectation; because that would mean I am against him, I am helping his poisonous mind. I have to shatter it, even at the cost of making him my enemy - but I have to shatter it and I have to live in a way, speak in a way, say things which he has to accept, understand, even against his whole mind.
It is a struggle to be with a master: the struggle between your mind and the master.
And if the master is a real master, he will not allow your mind to win. Either the master wins or you are free to leave, but you cannot be allowed to win in the game.
This is a very strange game in which the master always has to win. And to be constantly defeated - and yet be in love with the same man who is defeating you, and yet be committed to the same man who is destroying you - needs guts. Ordinarily, people can’t understand it, but this is the reality.