Chapter 2: The Radical Revolution
And please don’t misunderstand me. There is every possibility because when I say something I have to use words, and words have been very corrupted - corrupted by you, corrupted by usage - for centuries. When I say chaos, you become afraid. But you don’t know the beauty of chaos, and you don’t know the spontaneous order of a chaos. You don’t know the order that comes out of freedom. Not enforced by your mind, not by your past, but just by your being aware, alert, free, responsive, an order arises. I don’t call it order, because it goes on changing every moment. I don’t call it a discipline, because it has nothing to do with you. In the chaos you are no more, the ego has disappeared.
Who is going to discipline? The ego. The ego says, “Become a better man, improve yourself! You are a sinner, become a saint; you are violent, become nonviolent; you are angry, become more loving.” But who is going to do it, and who is this who is hankering for improvement? The ego wants a few more decorations, wants to become more respectable, wants to become more certain, wants to have a better grounding in the world, wants to feel more solid, wants to become somebody in particular, wants to become special.
No, my sannyas is not going to give you anything of this sort. I don’t deal in dead things. That is not my business. My whole effort here is to give you a taste of freedom. Once you have known the taste, you will never settle for anything else. If it is a question of settling somewhere, you are wrong. My sannyas is a wandering; it is not a settlement. In my sannyas you can rest, but in the morning you have to go. It is a constant flow, river-like unless the ocean is achieved. But the ocean comes naturally out of the flowing of the river: there is no plan to reach the ocean, the river does not know. Maps of where the ocean is don’t exist for a river.
And the river has no discipline. Sometimes it goes to the south and sometimes it starts moving to the north, and sometimes in one direction and sometimes in another direction. Have you ever seen the zigzag path of a river? It is not straight. It is not economical. It is not mathematical. It is not the shortest cut at all, but very zigzag. It just goes on, not knowing where it is going. It just goes on because the energy is there to go. And one day the river reaches. If the river were planning, then it would find the shortest route, then it would move in a straight line, then it would never deviate, then it would be very consistent. But then it would not be a river - maybe a canal, a manmade canal, but it would not be a river. It wouldn’t have any freedom.
I don’t want you to be canals. Canals are ugly. I want you to be rivers.
And life is a hilly track. Move in freedom, move in total freedom, and each moment remember to drop the past. It accumulates like dust. Each moment you have experienced something, and then it goes on accumulating. Don’t accumulate it. Just go on ceasing as far as the past is concerned, dying as far as the past is concerned, so you are totally alive, throbbing, pulsating, streaming, and, whatsoever comes, you face it with awareness.
You must have a wrong notion about my sannyas. You say, “What I mean by sannyas is a spiritual discipline.” Then your meaning is different from my meaning. No, it has nothing to do with discipline, and it has nothing to do with spirituality.