Chapter 36: Rise in Love
I have never asked a single question of anybody about my life. It is my life, and I have to live it, I have to solve its problems. I have never taken any advice, I have never accepted anybody’s advice which was not asked for in the first place. I have told those people, “You have to understand that advice is the only thing everybody gives free of charge and nobody takes.”
Why bother? Advice given by a person whom you have not asked cannot be very wise.
The wise man never imposes his idea on anyone.
If somebody asks him, he simply gives his insight.
It is not a commandment, that they have to do it; there is no “should” in it.
I can say only one thing: you have given each other beautiful moments - be grateful, be thankful. The parting should not be ugly when the meeting was so beautiful.
You owe it to existence that the parting should be made beautiful. Forget all your promises - they were right when they were given, but the time has changed, you have changed. You both are standing at a crossroads, ready to move in different directions; perhaps you may never meet again. Make it as graceful as possible. And once you understand that it has to happen, gracefully or ungracefully, then it is better to make it graceful.
At least, your lover will live in your memory, you will live in the memory of the lover. In a certain way, those moments together will always enrich you. But part gracefully.
And it is not difficult when you have understood love - which is a very difficult phenomenon. You fell without a second thought; you can understand that very easily love has disappeared. Accept the truth of it, and don’t blame each other, because nobody is responsible.
Help each other gracefully; in deep friendship, part. Lovers when they separate become enemies. That is a strange kind of gratitude. They should become really friends. And if love can become friendship, there is no guilt, no grudge, no feeling that you have been cheated, exploited. Nobody has exploited anybody; it was just the biological energy which made you blind.
I teach a different kind of love.
It does not end in friendship but begins in friendship.
It begins in silence, in awareness. It is a love which is your own creation, which is not blind.
Such a love can last forever, can go on growing deeper and deeper.
Such a love is immensely sensitive. In this kind of relationship one starts feeling the need of the other person even before the other person has spoken.
I have known a few couples, very few couples - my acquaintance with couples is big, but I have come across only two, three couples who had not fallen in love, who have risen in love. And the most miraculous thing about them was that they started feeling each other without words.