Chapter 31: I Am an Adamant Optimist
They also can see.and children are very perceptive, because they are very new in the world, their eyes are clear, their perceptions are not yet covered with the dust of experience. They can see the hypocrisy of it all - because if some neighbor comes in while they were fighting, they immediately stop fighting, start smiling at each other, talking beautiful things, receiving the neighbor, giving the impression to the neighbor that they never fight.
The child is also learning hypocrisy. Whatever you are is one thing; you have to present to the society what the society expects you to be - not what you are, but what the society wants you to be.
From the very early childhood we are creating a split personality in each child, schizophrenia, a dual being.
They are learning the ways - the girl is learning how a wife should be, according to the mother’s behavior with the father; the boy is learning how the husband should be, according to the behavior of the father.
It is because of this that in generation after generation the same stupidities are repeated again and again. And the whole world lives in misery, lives in hypocrisy; and the root cause is the conventional family, where the child is exposed only to two persons, the mother and father.
In the future it has to be changed, because almost ninety percent of mental sicknesses are born out of this family. We have to make a bigger family. I call it a commune, where many people are living together.
In our commune in America five thousand people were living together, working together; in one single kitchen, five thousand people were eating together. Their children were getting acquainted with so many people - everybody of the age of the father was an uncle, everybody of the age of the mother was an aunt. They were learning from everybody.
They had a vast possibility of experience; and there was no way of having a fixed image of a woman or a man, because they were coming in contact with so many women who were all loving towards them, so many men who were all loving towards them. They were not living with their parents; they had their own campus. Parents could go there, meet them. They could come to the parents, live a day or two with the parents. They were invited by other couples, they were invited by couples who had no children. They were moving all over the commune.
The whole commune was their family.
Psychologically it created only a vague image of a woman in the boy’s mind, and a vague image of a man in the girl’s mind.
This is of tremendous importance. Because the image is vague and is made up of many impressions of different women, there is a possibility you may find a woman who can easily fit. Because you don’t have a fixed idea, you only have a vague conception, any woman can fulfill it, any man can fulfill it.
And you have not been living with the parents, so you don’t know how a wife has to behave, how a husband has to behave. You will start innocently, lovingly. You love the man - that’s why you have married him. You love the woman, and you are not carrying a certain pattern of how the woman should behave.