Chapter 21: The Watermelon and the Knife
Thirdly: the world is certainly crazy. And it is not that it has suddenly become crazy - it has always been so. I am not a pessimist; neither am I an optimist. I am simply a realist. I know that it is impossible to change this whole crazy world. Even if I can change my people, my sannyasins, that is hoping too much.
So I don’t want you to become a missionary, making efforts to change the crazy people. Change yourself, and help the fellow travelers, the sannyasins who are on the same path, in the same search - encourage them, help them in every possible way. There are moments of darkness, there are moments of discouragement, there are moments one feels perhaps he should not have chosen this path because it goes against the whole crazy world. To be sane in this insane world you are bound to be against it. So help those few people who are moving towards sanity, and never ask for the impossible. This is possible: to change a few thousand sannyasins around the world. And perhaps if a few thousand sannyasins are changed, that may create a certain magnetism, a certain gravitation, such that many more millions of people may be pulled into it.
But you should begin with yourself. If you can change yourself, that is much, and if you can help those who are on the path, it is enough for your compassion and for your love. In the crazy world there are also many people who don’t want to be the way they are, they want to be transformed. And if you find someone who has a deep longing to be transformed, help him. But never impose yourself on anybody, because if somebody wants to remain insane that is his birthright. Don’t disturb him; he is already disturbed too much. Just leave him alone, and let him live his insanity. Bless him that: “Live it totally.” Perhaps by living insanity totally he may come out of it.
The problem with insane people is that they are always living it partially, they are always repressing, they are always not doing what they want to do. If they are allowed total freedom, perhaps they may come out of their insanity. At least my people should give everybody freedom to be himself, without any judgment, without any condemnation, without calling him insane, without calling him a sinner, without sending him to hell. Just accept. A loving person accepts the other, as he is, without demanding any change.
Once I was happily waiting to greet you on your way to Sanai Grove. I was joyfully dancing and singing.
When you came closer, my body started moving with the movement of your hands; such weightlessness and joy exploding more and more beyond boundaries into vastness, and then falling into a deep, silent abyss inside myself.
Afterwards I felt grateful and so relieved; I had been looking for this experience by being with men, and it had happened through being with you.
Is such great bliss or ecstasy or orgasm - I don’t know what to call it - only possible with a master, or also with a man?