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Chapter 4: At a Time Like This?

The client, shocked and angry, replies, “Well, I will have to get another opinion.”

“Okay,” says the woman shrink, “you are ugly too!”

A woman can really drive a man crazy, but still, your cooperation will be needed. Without your cooperation, no, nobody can drive you crazy. If you stop trying to understand her and enjoying her she cannot drive you crazy. If you try to understand her, naturally you will stop enjoying her, and then she is bound to drive you crazy. Rejoice in her! Rejoice in her differences, rejoice in her different approaches towards life. Rejoice that she is not a man but a woman. She does not think like you; not only is her body different from you, her psyche is also different from you. And once you forget trying to understand her, there is no way for her to drive you crazy.

When you are with your woman, put your mind aside. Become more existential and less intellectual. Love her, dance with her, sing with her, but don’t try to argue with her. As far as argument is concerned, always agree with her and you will never be at a loss. And anyway, even if you argue, finally you will have to agree with her. The more you argue, the more she will insist. And her feminine ways of insistence are such that it is impossible not to listen to her - because she will not argue. Otherwise you can discuss. You would like..

Every husband wants his wife to sit at the table, calm, cool and collected. “And let us discuss the matter.” But she starts throwing things! She knows if she becomes calm and cool you are going to win. She starts slamming the door. She will put more salt in your vegetables and no sugar in your tea! She will make so many illogical efforts and she will cry and she will weep and she will start pulling her hair. She will beat the children, who have nothing to do with the matter.

And seeing all this, for something small, you will have to agree. Maybe it was only a question of going to see a picture to the movie house and you were not agreeing to which picture to go. She will have her way, so why unnecessarily go defeated with her? Why not go victorious? The moment she says.. “Right, absolutely right! That’s what I was thinking.” And that way you will feel happy and you will go victorious. And your sugar in the tea will be in the right amount and your salt in the vegetables will be right amount, and children will be saved. For some small thing the woman can put the whole house on fire! But it all depends on you.

Be a little more meditative. In fact, meditation has been discovered as a defense. It is not a discovery of women, remember. Many people have asked me, “Why have women not discovered meditation?” Why should they discover? They have no reason to discover it; it is man’s discovery. Surrounded by his meditative energy he is protected. Nobody, not even a woman, can drive him crazy.

So become more meditative. Go a little deeper into zazen, vipassana.

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