Chapter 22: The Transparency of Children
Children are not so deceptive - you can be more deceptive. They almost always say what they mean, but we can be more complex and we think that they don’t mean what they say. Then we force them to do whatsoever we want, and we go on thinking and believing that that’s what they mean.
Children are very transparent, not cunning - that’s why they are still children. They will become cunning by and by, but before they do become cunning, let them be a little happy and free.
I understand your difficulty - but that is not the point. If you are really concerned with their happiness then forget your ideas of happiness - this is clear-cut. Each parent is doing this nonsense to children, and they are never forgiven. I have almost never come across people who have forgiven their parents; rarely, very rarely. It becomes such a hard struggle later on - to respect is impossible, and even to forgive is not possible. That doesn’t mean that the parents were not concerned; they were too concerned. They were trying to force happiness on them - but according to them.
If you are put in what is heaven to somebody else, it will be hell for you. And if you go into hell as your own choice, you will feel it to be like heaven, because heaven belongs to your freedom. It is not a question of where you are; it is a question of whether you have chosen it.
So remember this. You may feel sad - that is part of love. You may even suffer sending them back, but if the children want to go back, let them.
I don’t know if I should go back with them.
That is for you to decide. If the children want to go, let them. If you want to go there, you can go. If you want to be here, you can be here - your happiness is not the problem.
But don’t you decide for them. You can follow them if you want, but don’t force them to follow you. They are not forcing you - so you are free. At least they are more non-violent. You can go if you want to, but if you are going just to follow them, to be possessive and to try to force your ideas of happiness on them there also, then I would say it is better to let them go and you be here.
The world will be totally different if mothers can become a little more understanding. They are not, and nobody can tell them because they are so loving - that’s the trouble. Behind love, so much that is not love goes on hiding. Love becomes a shelter for many things that are not love at all.
So if you want to go, go. But remember you are going because you will feel happy there. Don’t say that you are going to make the children happy there.
Nobody can make anybody happy, nobody. At the most you can make people unhappy. If you succeed, you will make them unhappy, and when they are unhappy, you will be unhappy. So allow them to grow in freedom. Of course it is risky, but what can be done?