Chapter 5: Read between the Lines
So it is possible that this state of fearfulness has arisen in you - that the fear has crystallized. This has to happen, it must, because whatever is within you, whatever has been repressed, will have to be expressed. Wherever you have been deceiving yourself, all your defensive walls will have to be brought down. You have to be revealed to yourself in all your nudity, and only after that can the journey proceed further. One who has set out on the journey of truth will first have to begin to recognize untruth, and the one who chooses to travel in the dimension of reality will first have to shatter illusions.
So all the consolations you have gathered around you, all the false truths you have made and all the flowers that you have pasted onto your exterior and which have not come from within you, will all crumble in my presence; and as they fall your fear will grow. I am not interested in indoctrinating you on the deathlessness of the soul. Instead, you will have to confront the fact that your body is going to perish, that you are going to die, and that nothing is going to remain of all that which you think you are. You don’t know anything of that which will remain. You will just die - the full death. Nobody can save you, neither the premise of deathlessness nor any master. No, nothing can save you - to die is your nature.
So first your realization of death is to be intensified, and then your trembling will grow. A moment will come when you are nothing but fear itself, and every cell of your being is nothing but weeping. And when you see the fire of death burning your every cell, on the funeral pyre, that is when you will abandon your identification with the body, that is when your eyes will turn toward that which is deathless. Only the experience of the totality of fear will lead you to fearlessness.
Life is very complex. It may seem strange to you when I say that only if I take you deep into your fear will you be able to find fearlessness. To you it will appear to be the right thing that I should make you courageous, conceal your fear, and embroider your death in beautiful colors. If I say to you, “Death is your friend, death is the door to existence,” if I console you - “Why are you afraid? You will never die, you have never died” - all this will be very sweet to listen to, and you may feel that your fear is getting less, your trembling is ceasing; but you will remain stuck with the body, because you have no idea who you are. So whenever I say that you are deathless, you will relate it to all those falsehoods you are identified with; you will understand your ego to be deathless. Ego is not deathless. In fact nothing in the world is as full of death as the ego, nothing is more false than the ego. Ego in itself is dead.