Chapter 30: Possibilities of Love
Would you please talk again about love, how you see it? In Kathmandu, I was so touched when you were speaking about going beyond the polarity of love-hate. I feel so grateful toward you because you told me that giving love will be my meditation.
No man is an island. This has to be remembered as one of the fundamental truths of life. I am emphasizing it because we tend to forget it. We are all part of one life force, part of one oceanic existence. Basically, because we are one deep down in our roots, the possibility of love arises. If we were not one, there would be no possibility of love.
You can like a house, but you cannot love it; you can like any thing, but love is not the appropriate word to be used for liking. Love is reserved only for those who are on the same ladder of evolution.
The second thing to be remembered is that evolution functions through polarities. Just as you cannot walk on one leg, you need two legs to walk, existence needs polar opposites - man and woman, life and death, love and hate - to create momentum; otherwise, there will be silence.
The opposite attracts you on the one hand and on the other hand makes you feel dependent. And nobody wants to feel dependent. Hence, there is a constant struggle between lovers: they are trying to dominate each other. The name is love, but the game is politics.
The very effort of man is to dominate the woman, to reduce her to an inferior status, to disallow her to grow, so that she always remains retarded. For thousands of years, what man has done to women is simply monstrous: no education - she cannot read the holy scriptures. She cannot think of herself as equal to man and she has been conditioned so deeply that even if you say she is equal, she is not going to believe it. It has become almost her mind - the conditioning has become her mind, that she is less in everything: physical strength, intellectual qualities.. And man has made a society in which he has become the protector and the woman is the protected.
The Hindu scriptures say that in childhood the father should protect the girl; in youth the husband should protect the woman; in old age the son should protect the mother - but she is always to be protected, and man is to protect her. He has made her weak, uneducated, uncultured; he has stopped her movement in the society. And the greatest thing he has done is he has taken her liberty of financial freedom, which cuts her very roots to be free. She has to be dependent; she is not capable of earning herself.
And for centuries there was a certain logic in it because she had to become the mother. And out of ten children, nine children were dying, so a woman was pregnant for almost the whole period of her life until menopause. How can she work? How can she earn? She is carrying a child, and she is caring for other small children, looking after them, looking after the house. In short, man made woman a slave - and very cheaply, without purchasing her. You should see the irony..