Chapter 8: Not Gospels but Gossips
One ex-Nazi was trying to hide the fact that he had been a stormtrooper. He decided to become an opera singer.
When the night for his big debut came he walked on stage, looked at his audience and announced, “I am going to sing - and you are going to listen!”
Things become unconscious. You cannot hide them. Everybody else will be able to see them except you. If you can also see your habits, you start becoming a little detached, unidentified from them, a little aloof. And that very aloofness is a transcendence. Then you will be able to say when no is needed - you will say no. And you will be able to say yes when yes is needed. You will not be fixated.
To be fixated is insane. I don’t want you to become yea-sayers; I want you to be conscious, alert, watchful, responsive. There are moments when your total being would like to say no. Then say no. If everything has to be risked, risk, but don’t be false to your own being. And there will be moments when your whole being says, “Say yes.” And then too, maybe there is great danger in saying yes, but say it. That’s the way of the sannyasin, the really religious person.
Don’t become fixated. You can move from no-saying to yes-saying, and you can still remain unconscious and fixated. Then nothing has happened. Your disbelief has become belief, but you are the same person.
Ira Schwartzbaum thought he was God. His worried parents, unable to convince him otherwise, finally took him to see a world-famous psychiatrist.
Ira lay on the couch and closed his eyes.
“Tell me,” the psychiatrist asked him in an encouraging, sympathetic voice, “how did it all start?”
“Well,” Ira said, “on the first day I created the earth, then..”
You can be fixated. And once you are fixated on a certain thing, when you cannot have a detached view of it, when you cannot create a distance between it and you - you are insane. What your fixation is is not important. You may be a communist or a Catholic, Hindu or a Mohammedan, believer/disbeliever, no-sayer/yes-sayer - it is all the same.
Hence, Jinesh, don’t be worried about your no-saying. Be conscious of it. Next time you say no, don’t just say it out of habit, out of a past pattern. Reflect, watch, wait.and let a response arise in you. And you may be surprised - a yes is born. And it will be born in you, it will not be imposed from the outside.
Your freedom is a supreme value. Nothing is higher than that. But your freedom is possible only if you are not encaged in your habits, unconscious patterns of living. Change your gestalt from unconsciousness to consciousness. And I know that as you become conscious you will be able to say more yes than no.