Chapter 2: A Thousand Pound Sledge Hammer
What you call marriage is nothing but an arrangement, a social arrangement. What you call marriage is nothing but an institution. And it is not good to live in an institution. It is not love, it is a poor substitute for love. If marriage arises out of love it is beautiful - but then it is not really marriage, it is a totally different thing. But if marriage is just a legal binding and there is no love in it then you are entering into an imprisonment - and on your own accord.
Marriage as such is going to disappear from the world; it should disappear. Love should be enough cause to be together. I know that there is danger, because love is something like a breeze: when it comes it comes, when it goes it goes. It is not very dependable. It is not an electric fan whose button you switch on and the fan starts. Marriage is a electric fan, you can depend on it. Love is a natural breeze sometimes it is there, then it is beautiful, but then it can go too, any moment it can be gone.
Love is like a roseflower - it blooms and withers. Marriage is a plastic flower - it never blooms and it never withers. It is very permanent. Many people have chosen the plastic flower against the roseflower, the real flower, because they are afraid of its momentariness.
But life is momentary, life is a flux. To hope that one can create something permanent in life is to hope in vain. You are looking for frustration. The whole of life is a continuous movement: things change. Except change, everything changes. The only thing that is permanent is change.
So whatsoever is real is changing that’s why fear arises in man’s mind. Love cannot be depended on so you have to bring the court and the law in so that things become permanent. When love disappears the court will bind you but anything that binds is ugly. Unity is one thing, to be tied together is another.
One night, Mulla Nasruddin and his wife were sitting by the fireside. It was a cold night. Mulla was reading his newspaper and his wife was doing some knitting. And the dog and the cat of the family were also resting by the fireside, dreaming, enjoying.
The wife suddenly said, “Nasruddin look at the dog and the cat and how peacefully they live together. Why can’t we do that?”
Nasruddin said, “Why can’t we do that? Tie them together and see what happens.”
Once two persons are tied together freedom is lost and anger arises. When freedom is lost everything becomes ugly. Love means that freedom remains intact: marriage means that freedom has been dropped. You have bargained for permanence, for security, and you have paid for it with freedom.
Marriage is going to disappear, should disappear. And now the point is coming in the history of humanity where it becomes possible that marriage can disappear. It is already an outmoded phenomenon, it has lived too long and it has created nothing but misery. Marriage should disappear and love should flower again. One should live with insecurity and freedom. That I call intelligence.