Chapter 9: The Means Is the End
So he dropped all effort that evening. He sat under the tree, relaxed, with no effort, no goal, nowhere to go, nothing to be achieved, nothing worth achieving. When you are in such a state of mind, mind relaxes - no future, no desire, no goal, nowhere to go, so what to do? He simply sat, he became just like the tree. The whole night he slept, and later on Buddha said that for the first time he really slept that night - because when effort is there it continues in sleep also.
A person who is earning money and who is after money goes on counting even in his dreams, a person who is after power and prestige and politics goes on fighting elections in his dreams. You all know that when you are sitting for an examination in the university or college, in sleep also you go on doing the examination; again and again you are in the examination hall answering questions. So whatsoever effort is there it continues in sleep - and there is always some effort for something or other.
That night there was no effort. Buddha said, “I slept for the first time in millions of lives. That was the first night that I slept.” Such a sleep becomes samadhi. And in the morning when he awoke he saw the last star disappear. He looked. His eyes for the first time must have been mirrorlike, with no content, just vacant, empty, nothing to project. The last star was disappearing, and Buddha said, “With that disappearing star I also disappeared. The star was disappearing and I also disappeared” - because the ego can exist only with effort. If you make some effort ego is fed - you are doing something, you are reaching somewhere, you are achieving something. When there is no effort how can you exist?
The last star disappeared, “And,” Buddha said, “I also disappeared. And then I looked, the sky was vacant; then I looked within, there was nothing - anatta, no self, there was no one.”
It is said Buddha laughed at the whole absurdity. There was no one who could reach. There was no one who could reach the goal, there was no one who could achieve liberation - there was no one at all, no entity. Space was without, space was within. “And,” he said, “at that moment of total effortlessness I achieved, I realized.” But don’t go to relax under a tree, and don’t wait for the last star to disappear. And don’t wait thinking that with the last star disappearing you will disappear. Those six years must precede. So this is the problem: without effort no one has ever achieved, with only effort no one has ever achieved. With effort coming to a point where it becomes effortlessness, realization has always been possible.
This is what I go on emphasizing for you to do: make as much effort as you can, and don’t withhold any energy. Bring your total energy into it so you get exhausted, so the conscious mind cannot make any more effort. When the conscious cannot do anything, suddenly the unconscious reveals. And it reveals only when the conscious has become a total failure, only then it is needed - otherwise it goes on sleeping inside.
It is just like this. Every human body has three layers of energies. The first layer is only for day-to-day work: eating, sleeping, walking to the office, working in the office, coming home, fighting, making love, anger - routine. The first layer. It has not got very much energy, just routine energy.