Chapter 10: Living in Nirvana
And that is what I mean when I say drop the ego. Ego is nothing but the illusion of separation from the whole. Humbleness is nothing but a reunion with the whole, a remarriage with the whole. The ego is a divorce; humbleness is a remarriage, a reunion, unio mystica - when you are again united with the original source.
Then all that you always wanted to happen starts happening, but it never happens till you stop wanting.
This is the dilemma. If you go on wanting, your very want will create a situation in which it is not going to happen. And of course, the mind will say, “Make more effort.” The mind will say, “This time you lost; next time bring more willpower.”
Willpower is a dirty word. The greatest stupidity there is, is the idea of willpower. The will belongs to the whole; it doesn’t belong to the part. My leg cannot have its own will. If it tries to have its own will, it will be paralyzed. My hand cannot have its own will. The whole, my whole body, me, can have a will.
We are just the hands and legs of the whole. We cannot have wills - only the whole. The whole wills, and everything happens to us.
Once you accept this, all effort, all struggle is gone then. One moves effortlessly. All weight, all heaviness from the head disappears, all headache disappears. In fact, the head itself disappears. Then life is an ecstasy, a continuous bliss, an eternal celebration, a benediction.
But you go on trying to do something. It is exactly there, precisely there, where you miss. And the more you miss, the more you desire - a vicious circle is created.
Over a friendly game of chess, Father Shaughnessy said to Rabbi Ginsberg, “Tell me Rabbi, have you ever tasted ham? Be truthful now.”
“Once,” said the rabbi, reddening slightly, “when I was in college. I must admit curiosity overcame me and I had a ham sandwich. But tell me Father, be truthful now. Did you ever perhaps with a girl.?”
It was Father Shaughnessy’s turn to blush. He said, “I must confess that once in college, before I was ordained, I did have a little.”
Silence fell, and the Father said with a sad smile, “It is better than ham, isn’t it?”
The moment you fight with anything, you give it tremendous power. The moment you fight with anything, you give it tremendous attraction. The moment you fight with anything, it becomes infinitely inviting.
Sex is not as beautiful as people who have denied themselves think. In fact, if sex is completely allowed, totally free, sooner or later one gets fed up with it. Already it is happening in the West. People are fed up with sex; hence the attraction for drugs. And because the governments go on denying drugs- the same as they were doing with sex before - the drugs have a tremendous attraction. Once drugs are allowed they will lose all attraction.