Chapter 22: Don’t Be Worried - The Worst Will Also Happen
“Can creativity on the material plane be truly meditative?” The question of material plane or immaterial plane does not matter. What matters is that whatever you do should be born out of meditation. It can be material - a painting is going to be material, a statue is going to be material.
If it is coming from deep meditation it will have that radiation for centuries. And anybody who knows how to sit silently a little bit and just to watch it, will receive your message. The gap of centuries will disappear - he will start feeling the same meditation in which the sculpture or the painting was created.
“Will my art remain solely subjective until the ego agrees to commit suicide?”
The ego never agrees to commit suicide.
The ego is suicide.
Because of ego you have forgotten your authentic being. Don’t be concerned with the ego, be concerned with searching for your authentic being. The moment you find your real being, the ego will disappear. There is no question of suicide, because the ego is not a reality; it is only an absence of your being. Because you have not entered into your being, the shadow of the being has been misunderstood as the being itself.
So don’t be worried about suicide, and don’t be worried about what will happen to your ego. I can understand that every artist, every creative person has a very strong ego. Painters, poets, singers, dancers, actors - all have very strong egos. But they are unaware that their egos are not allowing their genius its total actualization. They are not friends; they are your enemies. And because you are identified with them you will never look for the real one.
To be identified with anything false is very dangerous, because then the search for the real stops. The false has to be dropped. The false has to be understood at least as false, so that a process of search is triggered in you for the real. The real belongs to existence. You have come with it at your birth.
Ego is your nurture, not your nature. Ego has been produced by your family, by your friends, by your education, by your talents. It is just a false creation, and if you become identified - as almost everyone is identified with it - this is the greatest barrier. Disidentification with the ego will immediately give you a new insight to enter into your own being - that which is a gift of nature. Finding it, who cares about old junk? - your ego, your thoughts, your personality; you have found the real diamonds.
And because Vipassana has given you a sense of what meditation is, don’t miss this opportunity. Use that sensitivity to go even deeper. At the deepest you can go, something of immense beauty and grace will be created by your hands, but not by you.
As far as the suicide is concerned, I will take care of it - you just.. I have seen so many suicides. My whole business is to help people to commit suicide, because unless you commit suicide as an ego, you will never find your soul.