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OSHO Online Library   »   The Books   »   Zen: Zest Zip Zap and Zing
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Chapter 15: Life, Love, Laughter

Ordinarily it is difficult to get disidentified with the body and the brain and the heart, but it happened very easily to Vimalkirti. He had to become disidentified because the body was already dead. It has been dead for five days - the brain is already lost, the heart is far away.

This accident is an accident for the people who are on the outside, but for Vimalkirti himself it has proved a blessing in disguise. You cannot get identified with such a body: the kidneys not functioning, the breathing not functioning, the heart not functioning, the brain totally damaged. How can you get identified with such a body? Impossible. Just a little alertness and you will become separate - and that much alertness he had, that much he had grown. So he immediately became aware, “I am not the body, I am not the mind, I am not the heart either.” And when you pass beyond these three, the fourth, turiya, is attained, and that is your real nature. Once it is attained it is never lost.

He used to love my jokes and this will be the last lecture for him, so two jokes for him:

An Italian couple was rushing to the hospital as the wife was about to have a baby. On the way there was a terrible automobile accident and the husband ended up in the hospital in a coma.

When he finally came to, he was told he had been in a coma for three months and that his wife was fine and he was the proud father of twins, a boy and a girl.

As soon as he could he left the hospital to be with his family, and after being home for a little while he asked his wife the names she had given the children.

The wife replied, “Well-a, in keeping with-a Italian-a tradition, I didn’t name them. It’s-a the man’s-a place to name-a the newborn babies, and since you were unconscious the job-a went-a to your brother.”

Hearing this, the husband got very upset, saying, “My brother is an idiot-a! He doesn’t know-a anything! So what-a did-a he name them?”

The wife said, “He named the girl-a Denise.”

“Hey,” the husband said, “that’s-a not-a bad! And-a the bambino?

“The boy he named Da nephew.”

Abe Einstein owned a company which manufactured nails in Ohio. He was doing so well that he could afford to spend the winter vacationing in Miami. The only problem was that he did not believe that his son, Max, had the good sense to run the business in his absence. Abe’s friend, Moishe, convinced him to take the winter off, pointing out that Max was going to inherit the business some day anyway, so he ought to give himself a chance to prove himself now.

Abe was having a great time in Miami until he received a copy by post of the magazine, Nails Quarterly. In the magazine was a full-page color ad for Einstein’s Nails with a picture of Jesus nailed to the cross. The caption read: “They Used Einstein’s Nails!”

Abe called Max immediately, “Don’t ever say such a thing again!”

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