Chapter 10: Just a Remembrance
Look at the foolishness of it, the ridiculousness of it. You create an image, very beautiful - naturally when you are creating you create a beautiful image - and then because of that image you start looking ugly in comparison. You create a very, very great image that you are a saint, and then you find yourself doing things which are not very saintly. Now you feel condemned. The image is yours, and against the image your act looks stinking.
What I am saying here, what Saraha is saying to the king, is that the image has to be completely dropped. The moment you drop the image and you forget about the image, then what is right and what is wrong? Then who is a sinner and who is a saint? Then you don’t have anything to compare with. Then suddenly you are at ease. The comparison disappears.and the condemnation disappears. The comparison disappears.and the ego disappears, the ego of the sinner and the ego of the saint. Without the ideal there can exist no ego at all. It exists through the ideal, via the ideal. The ideal is a must for the ego.
Either you think that you are a sinner - you create an ego, an identity - or you think you are a saint; then you create an ego, an identity. But both can only come into existence through the ideal. If the ideal is not there, who are you? saint or sinner? good or bad? ugly or beautiful? Who are you? You are simply yourself, without any judgment, without any justification, without any condemnation. You are simply there in your reality; that’s what I am calling “being.”
Now you must be becoming disillusioned again and again, because your grip on the image becomes a little loosened. Whenever your grip on the image is a little loosened, you become afraid. The ideal is creating an illusion, and whenever I start taking the ideal away, you feel disillusioned. Be utterly disillusioned, and don’t create the illusion again - the illusion of the ideal - and then see how life attains to a sublime silence. Then see how tremendous acceptance arises, how great benediction simply surrounds you for no reason at all. It is yours, just for the asking. You are not to do anything.
You are acceptable to God as you are.
This is my whole message, and this is the whole of Tantra: You are accepted as you are!
But you go on rejecting yourself. The ideal makes it possible for you to reject, the ideal makes it possible for you to be unkind to yourself, cruel, aggressive - to become a self-torturer. My effort here is to help you to become sane. This idealism creates insanity, it has turned the whole earth into a madhouse.
And you say: “I become disillusioned with myself because I am unable to live up to the ideals you put forward in your lecture.”
What are you talking about? What ideals? I am not saying, “You should do this.” I am not saying, “You should be like this.” I am simply saying, “Whatsoever you are, be.” I am trying to take all “becoming” from you. I am trying to help you to see the point that you are already at home; you have never to go anywhere, and you have nowhere to go. It is already the case - God is showering on you. Samadhi is already the case. Wherever you are, you are in nirvana.