Chapter 8: The Giver Should Be Thankful
So freedom should not become a chaos - and that is very delicate. But if you cut his whole freedom because the child may harm himself, then you are creating a hateful mind. And if a child starts hating his mother, he will not be able to love any woman ever, because the first woman has become associated with hatred. That’s why you hate your wife - because in the beginning you hated your mother, and you will never be at ease with a woman. A woman will always create an unease; she will attract you and she will repel you also. She will become the focus of your love but the love will be superficial, because if you couldn’t love your mother deeply, how can you love any other woman? Impossible!
And behind every love, there will be a running current of hatred. Love becomes divided, the opposite is hidden there - then everything becomes poisonous. The child will move more and more, and one day he will fall in love with another woman. That is the last break. On that day, really, the child is born. The “birthbreak” finished that day. It continues twenty years, twenty-five years; every day there is pain and conflict. Then the child as the final step falls in love with another woman - that is the breaking point. Now he has left the mother completely. Now another woman has entered. That’s why mothers can never be at ease with daughters-in-law - impossible! That’s why so many stories go around and around against the mother-in-law: they cannot be at ease. Impossible, because this is the enemy; this woman is the enemy, this man is the enemy, who has taken their child away completely.
There is a saying of Jesus - one of the most mysterious, impossible to reconcile with Jesus’ mind, and very dangerous, and the wording is also dangerous. Jesus says to his disciples, “Unless you hate your father and mother, you cannot come to me.” A man like Jesus, who says love is the path, who says God is love, who raises love to the highest possible peak and makes it equivalent to meditation, says, “Unless you hate your father and mother, you cannot come to me.” He is right, because unless Jesus becomes your father and mother.. You cannot come to a master unless you leave your father and mother completely - that is your complete past, past associations, past relationships - completely, totally. How can you come to a Jesus, how can you come to a master.?
If you are still committed to the past, your present is burdened, your future is dark. You have to be uncommitted to the past, completely broken with the past, discontinued. Only then your present is light, and your future not a mechanical progression of the past.
Jesus is right: unless you hate your father and mother you cannot come to a master. That’s why, whenever you go to a master, your father and mother are very disturbed - it has to be so. They are never so disturbed. You can go to a prostitute - they will not be so disturbed; you can become an alcoholic - they will not be so disturbed.
But going to a Buddha or a Jesus.to a master, they are absolutely disturbed. Something in the unconscious says, “Now this is the last break. Now, if this boy or this girl goes to a master, then ‘father’ and ‘mother’ are completely closed” - the fear! Even if a son moves with a woman, the mother can have some relationship, some sort of relationship. But if the son moves with a Jesus, then all relationship is broken; then there is no possibility; Jesus demands total surrender. No woman can demand it, no husband can demand it; only a master can demand total surrender, no holding back.