Chapter 3: A Rolling Stone
Sufism’s emphasis is on the positive. And I am talking about both Zen and Sufi. You have to choose. The choice should not be from the head; the choice should be from your totality. Feel both. Feel Sufi dancing, and feel Vipassana. And whatsoever fits with you.and when something fits, you will know. There will be no need to ask anybody, because it fits so absolutely - that it is meant for you and you are meant for it - suddenly everything falls in tune, a great harmony arises.
Don’t decide from the head, because then you can move in a wrong direction. Allow it to be decided by your total being. Feel all the possibilities - that’s why I am making all that is possible available to you, so everybody can find what suits him. Then that is your path.
And never impose your path on anybody else, never, because that may not be the path for the other. Share your joy, but never try to convert anybody to your principle. Share your experience, but never become a missionary. The word missionary is dirty. Make your heart available - if somebody wants to choose, let him choose, but don’t in any way, not even indirectly, try to convert him to your doctrine.
Your experience, your sharing of the experience, is beautiful - it is your love, it is your compassion. But your principle, your doctrine, your path, is dangerous. It may not be the other’s path. And when I am saying “the other,” I don’t mean the stranger - it may be your child, it may be your wife, it may be your husband, it may be your brother. “The other” includes all others - even your child whom you have carried in your womb for nine months, who is your bone and your blood and your marrow, who has pulsated with you for nine months, but still he will have to live his own life. He comes through you, but he is not you. He has his own individuality. He has to bloom in his own way. Make available all that you have experienced, all that is good and all that is bad; make your whole life open to the child, but never indoctrinate him. Never try to make him a Christian or a Hindu or a Mohammedan. Help him to move according to his nature. And nobody knows what is going to bloom in him. Just help him so he grows, becomes stronger. That is love.
When you start indoctrinating, that is not love, that is hate. You are afraid, you are possessive, you are ambitious, you are egoistic
You want to dominate the other through your doctrine. You want to kill the spirit of the other. You may think that you are helping, but you are not helping - you are hindering the growth. You are only crippling the other. He will never be able to forgive you.
That’s why children are never able to forgive their parents - they have been indoctrinated, something has been forced on them. It is a kind of rape, and the worst kind: you have raped their consciousness. You have violated one of the most fundamental laws of life. You have interfered with their freedom. And the greatest freedom is the freedom to grow towards God, and everybody has to grow in his own way.