Chapter 16: Beyond All - the Witness
But this is not true. You have never taken a breath. Breathing happens: you are only a witness. Certainly, awareness of breathing happens only when you are, but the process of breathing as such is totally separate; it can go on even if you are unconscious. And now scientists claim that even if you are dead they can keep the breathing process going with the help of machines.
Breathing is a separate mechanism, a separate system, you are only the awareness of it. Have you ever taken a breath? If it were you who had been breathing you would have died long ago, because if you had forgotten to breathe for a while everything would have fallen apart. And man may go on committing all kinds of other mistakes, that is okay, but if he forgets to breathe that will not do. That is why it is not you who is breathing, it happens on its own; you are not the doer, you are only a witness to it. The blood circulates in your body, you do not circulate it. You are not the doer. The heart beats - you are not the doer, you are only a witness.
If you understand this phenomenon about the heart, the breathing, the pulse beat and the circulation of the blood, it will not be very difficult to understand how the mind also works. You do not make it work, it too is a mechanism - mind too is a mechanism.
A person is possessed by sexual desire; if he thinks that he is doing it he is mistaken. It is just happening. This too is nothing more than a few glands, some fluids being released in the glands. When the sex glands have matured at the age of fourteen they make sexual desire possible. If you were to remove these glands, the possibility of any sexual desire would be gone. You are not even the creator of your sexual desires, and that is why it is very difficult to get rid of them. How easy it would have been if you were creating them. If you had been the creator of your sexual desires then there would have been no difficulty, you would have just said, “I don’t want this,” and it would be finished. But you go on saying that you will not have any sexual desire and still it goes on arising, it doesn’t leave you. Why? If you are the doer, the creator, then where is the difficulty?
The difficulty is that you are not the doer and, believing yourself to be the doer, you get into double trouble. First you consider yourself to be the doer, and then because of it you think that if you wish you can be the controller also. You think, “I am myself the doer and I can stop sexual desire if I wish to.” But it doesn’t stop; you can neither arouse it nor can you stop it.
Does that mean you can never get rid of sexual desire? Yes, you can be free of it at this very moment. If the feeling of the doer vanishes, and if you remain only a witness, then you are freed from desire. Desire remains on one side, the mechanism remains separate from it and you stand aloof; a gap happens in between.
One more thing needs to be understood. You are not the doer with regard to this mechanism, but your presence is necessary for it to function - just your presence. You are not the doer.