Chapter 3: Be a Watcher on the Hills
The word discipline is also beautiful. It is sometimes very significant to go to the roots of words. Discipline comes from a root which means learning. When you are looking at a gap, learning happens. Learning about what? Learning about yourself, because there is nothing else. You are full of awareness. You are just full of your own being, overflowing. And this experience of just being yourself, overflowing, undistracted by anything, undisturbed by anything, is the greatest learning, the greatest possibility of knowing the truth. This is discipline.
From the same root comes the word disciple. Disciple means one who is becoming capable of being utterly silent in the presence of the master. The disciple is one who allows the interval to happen when he is with the master. With the master you are bridged only through silence; when there is nothing in your mind you are bridged. Something then transpires between the master and the disciple. A flame jumps from the master into the heart of the disciple. The unlit candle of the disciple suddenly becomes lit. All is joy and light and love, and a great dance arises.
Lisa, discipline can never be misunderstood as repression. Repressions are totally different. In repression you have already decided what is wrong - a priori decisions. In fact, others have decided for you what is wrong and what is right. Now you are simply trying to impose the ideas and opinions of others upon yourself. You will have to repress your nature. You will have to force that which is wrong - or which you have been told is wrong - deep into the unconscious. There will be a fight, great turmoil. Instead of bringing silence to you, every method of repression brings more turmoil.
That’s why the so-called religious people are more restless, more worried. You are worried only about this world, they are worried even about the other. You are worried only about this life, they are worried about many, many past lives and future lives. Your worries are nothing compared to the worries of the so-called religious people. And they are sitting on a volcano, because whatsoever is repressed is there; it is not destroyed. Repression never destroys anything; you are simply sitting on top of it. And the danger is that you cannot sit on top of it for twenty-four hours a day; you have limitations. You will get tired, you will need some rest. And whenever you will be tired and you will need rest, repressions will start arising in you.
Hence, even your greatest saints go on thinking, fantasizing, dreaming about all those things that they have repressed. Mahatma Gandhi has written in his autobiography: “I have been able to control my sexuality as far as my day is concerned, but in the night, in my dreams, it comes with a vengeance.” This he was writing at the age of seventy.a whole life of repression!
Yes, in the day you can somehow manage, but in the night, in the dreams, that which you have repressed in the day is bound to take revenge. It will come back, it will explode in you.