Chapter 6: Repression or Transformation?
Remain alert. Soon you will become aware that the more the circuit is created, the more thoughts are dropping, like yellow leaves from a tree. Thoughts are dropping; the mind is becoming more and more empty. Remain alert and soon you will see that you are, but there is no ego. You cannot say I. Something greater has happened to you - greater than you. You and your partner both have dissolved into that greater energy.
But this merger should not become unconscious; otherwise you miss the point. Then it is a beautiful sex act, but not transformation. It is beautiful, nothing is wrong in it, but it is not transformation. And if it is unconscious then you will always be moving in a rut. Again and again you will like to have this experience. The experience is beautiful as far as it goes but it will become a routine. And each time you have it, again more desire is created. The more you have it the more you desire it, and you move in a vicious circle. You don’t grow, you just rotate.
Rotation is bad, because then growth is not happening. Then energy is simply wasted. Even if the experience is good the energy is wasted because much more was possible. It was just at the corner - just a turn and much more was possible. With the same energy the divine could have been achieved. With the same energy the ultimate ecstasy is possible, and you are wasting that energy in momentary experiences. And by and by those experiences will become boring, because repeated again and again everything becomes boring. When the newness is lost, boredom is created.
If you remain alert you will see: first, changes of energy in the body; second, dropping of the thoughts from the mind; and third, dropping of the ego from the heart. These three things have to be observed, watched carefully. And when the third has happened your energy, that sex energy has become meditative energy. Now you are no longer in sex. You may be lying with your beloved, bodies together, but you are no longer there - you are transplanted into a new world.
This is what Shiva goes on talking about in Vigyan Bhairav Tantra and in other Tantra books. He goes on talking about this phenomenon - you are transmuted, a mutation has happened. This will happen through witnessing.
Either you can suppress and become so-called human beings - bogus, superficial, hollow within; just dummies, not authentic, not real - if you follow suppression. Or if you don’t follow suppression, if you follow indulgence you will become like an animal - beautiful, more beautiful than so-called civilized man, but just animals - not alert, not aware, not conscious of the possibility of growth, of the human potential.
If you transform the energy then you become divine. And remember, when I say divine both things are implied in it. The wild animal with its total beauty of being is there. That wild animal is not rejected and denied. He is there - richer, because he is more alert. So all the wildness is there and the beauty of it, and all that civilization has been trying to force is there, but spontaneous, not forced. Once the energy is transformed, nature and God meet in you - nature with its beauty, God with total grace.