Chapter 4: A Pearl of Exceeding Beauty
This is becoming a buddha in your own right. Now here you are, you write to me that, “I have come, I have arrived. Now I can move on my own.”
So I said, “Okay, move!” Now why should you need last instructions from me? And if you still need instructions, then dropping sannyas is not because you are ready, but just because you are going back. For four months you were here; it is easy to be in orange here.
Now the sannyasin is going back to Germany; it will be difficult there. And there must have been a cunning strategy behind it. You must have planned it already before you took sannyas, that four months while you are here you will be a sannyasin. And when you are leaving you can always say, “Now I am ready to be on my own, so I can leave.”
Then why the need for last instructions? When a disciple is ready I will tell you, “Now you move on your own.” You need not tell me; your telling me is pointless.
You ask me, “Why do we need a master?” There must be some pain inside. Just the idea that you are a disciple, that you have to be in somebody else’s hands, totally surrendered, is against the ego. And that’s why you need a master. The master is a device so that you can drop your ego. The master is just a strategy, a situation. It will be very difficult on your own to drop the ego. Who will drop whom? How will you drop your ego on your own? It will be almost impossible.
The master is just a device. You can trust the master in deep love, and you can put the ego aside. Otherwise you don’t have anything else than the ego. If you put that aside you will fall into utter emptiness. And you will not be able to fall into that abysmal, bottomless emptiness. You will become very much afraid. You will again cling to anything that you can find around you. And the ego is the closest.
It will be impossible for you to go into nothingness unless somebody is there calling you forth - from your very nothingness, somebody calling you forth, “Come on! Don’t be afraid.”
Once you have learned that dropping the ego is not death, once you have learned and tasted that dropping the ego is real life - real life begins only when the ego is dropped. Once you have tasted, there will be no need of the master. But it will not be so easy to leave the master.
How can you leave somebody who has been such a transformation to you? The very idea is stupid. And there is nobody to leave; nobody is clinging to you. In fact, between the master and the disciple, the relationship is one way. The master has no relationship to you. Listen well - don’t be shocked. The master has no relationship with you.
It is only you who need a relationship, it is just in your mind that the master exists; otherwise there is nobody there. One day when you will know the truth, the master has disappeared.