Chapter 4: Remember to Stop in the Middle
Nasruddin applied for the job, and the personnel man asked him the usual questions.
Then he said to the Mulla, “To what church do you belong?”
“I am a Catholic,” said Nasruddin, “and all my family are Catholics. In fact, my father is a priest and my mother is a nun, sir.”
Go the whole way! Remember to stop in the middle. That will bring balance, that will bring centering.
For the first time you will feel unperturbed, undistracted, and you will be able to accept both. Your acceptivity will become total. You will not be angry because there are thorns, and you will not be ecstatic, exhilarated, excited, because there are roses. You will see that both are, and both are good, both are needed. But you remain unaffected, untouched, unscratched - unscratched by the thorns and unscratched by the flower also. This is the goal.
The second question:
I need to trust so badly, and I suffer because I don’t. From where am I to find the courage to trust my killer?
People who trust themselves can trust others. People who don’t trust themselves cannot trust anybody. Out of self-trust, trust arises. If you are distrustful about yourself, then you cannot trust me, you cannot trust anybody. Because if you don’t trust yourself, how can you trust your trust? It is going to be your trust. Maybe you trust in me, but it is your trust - you trust in me and you don’t trust yourself. So it is not a question about me, it is a deep question about yourself. And who are these people who cannot trust themselves? Something has gone wrong somewhere.
First, these are the people who don’t have a very good self-image; they are condemnatory towards themselves. They always feel guilty and always feel wrong. They are always defensive and always trying to prove that they are not wrong, but they feel deep down that they are wrong. These are the people who have somehow missed a loving atmosphere.