Chapter 2: Nowhere and Everywhere
At the age of sixteen I left my body after a car accident. When I saw that the people I loved could not see or understand my happiness, I entered my body, in a state of shock, and stayed unconscious for two months.
For a few weeks I have been experiencing a very similar state of being in my meditation, and sitting in front of you. It feels so simple and ordinary, as if my body is becoming like air.
Afterwards, it is almost impossible to communicate with people, and I feel so separate - as if I am in “nowhereland.”
Beloved Master, I would really like to get out of this hypnotic state. And if it was not for you, why did I come back then?
It is not a hypnotic state that you are in. It happens, but very rarely, that in something like a car accident suddenly your body and your consciousness become separate. Because this separation is not a result of your effort, it feels very weird. And you remained in coma for two months - that simply means the consciousness was making every effort to be related to the body in the old way, as it was before the accident. It took two months for it to be settled again in its home.
Here, during meditation you will feel sometimes the same experience happening. Meditation is intentional, not accidental. The whole effort is to separate the body from the consciousness, to stand aloof and away and to see one’s own body as an object, unidentified with you. That happened to you in the car accident; it happened in an accident for which you were not prepared. But the memory has remained imprinted in your unconscious, so when it starts happening in meditation - and it will start happening sooner to such a person who has experienced it - you will feel weird, a little worried and afraid.
But there is nothing to be worried about and nothing to be afraid of. That accident was a benediction to you, in disguise. It has shown you your immortality, although you have not understood it. But now through meditation you will be able to understand it clearly, consciously. It does not mean that you have to leave the body, you have to only see the point that the body is your home: you can go out, you can come in.
And it is absolutely beautiful once in a while to come out of the body and be part of this immense existence, to open your wings and fly across the sun. Not even the sun can burn your consciousness.
It is good; you have been fortunate. Very few people have been in this situation, that accidentally they have attained to a state which usually takes years to attain. But once you have attained it, it becomes very easy to slip back into it. In the beginning, you will be afraid. The fear will be whether you will be able to enter your body again or not.
Secondly, you will start feeling that this body is not you, so why care about it? You may become destructive towards the body, uncaring, unloving. That will be a mistake. This body is not you. Your house is not you. But that does not mean not to care about your home, not to beautify it, not to celebrate its warmth, its space. There is no need to be identified with it.
So remember: don’t think that you are living in a hypnotic state - others are living in a hypnotic state. The car accident has broken your hypnosis. It has suddenly opened the door which was closed and takes effort, and years, and perhaps lives to open it.