Chapter 19: The Secrets and Mysteries of Existence Are Infinite
For example, a man like Mahatma Gandhi: he is a good man; he tried hard his whole life to be on the side of good. But even at the age of seventy he was having sexual dreams - and he was very much in anguish: “As far as my waking hours are concerned, I can keep myself completely free from sex. But what can I do in sleep? All that I repress in the day comes in the night.”
It shows one thing: that it has not gone anywhere; it has been inside you, just waiting. The moment you relax, the moment you remove the effort - and asleep you have at least to relax and remove the effort to be good - all the bad qualities that you have been repressing will start becoming your dreams.
Your dreams are your repressed desires.
The good man is in continuous conflict. His life is not one of joy; he cannot laugh whole-heartedly, he cannot sing, he cannot dance. In everything he continually makes judgments. His mind is full of condemnation and judgment; and because he is himself trying hard to be good, he is judging others also by the same criteria. He cannot accept you as you are; he can accept you if you fulfill his demands of being good. And because he cannot accept people as they are, he condemns them. All your saints are full of condemnation of everybody: you are all sinners.
These are not the qualities of the authentic religious man. The religious man has no judgment, no condemnation. He knows one thing: that no act is good, no act is bad; awareness is good and unawareness is bad. You may even do something - in unawareness - which looks good to the whole world, to the religious man that is not good. And you may do something bad, and you will be condemned by everybody - except by the religious man. He cannot condemn you, because you are unconscious. You need compassion, not judgment, not condemnation - you don’t deserve hell, nobody deserves hell.
As your meditation deepens, your witnessing becomes great. That’s what I was saying to you about witnessing and watching when you took sannyas seven years ago. I had forgotten to tell you, not to think that witnessing or watchfulness are nothing but good qualities. That’s why, when you were leaving, I stopped you again and told you that you were already a good man.
So something more is implied in transcending the duality of good and bad. Coming to a point of absolute awareness, there is no question of choice - you simply do whatever is good. You do it innocently, just as your shadow follows you, with no effort. If you run, the shadow runs; if you stop, the shadow stops - but there is no effort on the part of the shadow.
The man of awareness cannot be thought synonymous with the good man. He is good, but in such a different way, from such a different angle. He is good not because he is trying to be good; he is good because he is aware - and in awareness bad, evil, all those condemnatory words disappear as darkness disappears in light.