Chapter 9: Surrender Can Only Be Total
Your rationalizations may be perfectly logical, but I say they are absurd, because you cannot see the phenomenon of non-ego as you are. Surrendered, suddenly you will see that the master is not there. If you are surrendered right this moment you will see this chair is empty. This man who is talking to you is not there. This man is just an emptiness. But only when you are absent will you be able to see his absence.
Relationship cannot exist on the part of the master. If it exists he is not a master at all - he is still there. He cannot guide you, he can only misguide you. The teaching may be beautiful but he will misguide you, because whatsoever he does - I say whatsoever unconditionally - will be wrong. It is not a question of this thing being wrong and that thing being right. Whatsoever comes out of the ego is wrong. It may be virtue, it may be non-violence, it may be love - but whatsoever comes out of the ego is wrong. The ego perverts everything. The ego is the greatest perverter.
If the master loves you and the ego is there, his love will become possessive. He will destroy you, he will kill you. The relationship will be poisonous. The ordinary relationship of love will be there. He won’t allow you to move to another master. He will fight, he will create barriers so that you cannot move from him - because he depends on you, his ego depends on you.
The master with ego cannot exist without the followers. The followers are needed to feed the ego. The greater the crowd the better he will feel. If everybody leaves him he will simply be dead. Then the ego will be hurt. So-called masters go on fighting, competing with other so-called masters. It becomes a market. The whole competition of the market comes in.
If the master has an ego that means he is not really a master - just pretending. Then his compassion will only be compassion in name. He will be cruel, he will torture you - of course, in such a way that you will feel this torturing is a discipline. He will force you to do things which are painful and unnecessary, but he will enjoy that pain. He will rationalize it. He will say: “Fast, because without fasting you cannot reach.” And when you fast and you are tortured, he will be happy. His compassion is just a hidden cruelty. In the name of compassion he is a sadist. Torturing, he will feel happy. Looking at you, seeing that you are sad, tortured, depressed, he will say: “Vairagya has been achieved” - you have become non-attached.
The more you are sad, the happier he will be. If he sees a smile on your face, he will condemn it immediately. If he feels you are blissful, immediately he will find that something has gone wrong, because how can you be blissful in this world, in this wrong world? How can you be happy? Life is misery. How can you be ecstatic? You must be enjoying the senses somewhere, somehow. If you look young and fresh and alive, then you are too much attached to the body.
He will start destroying your body. He is a sadist and a very subtle sadist, more subtle than a Hitler or Mussolini - because they kill immediately, their murdering is simple. This man will also murder you, but in installments - slowly, slowly. Go around this country: you will find many who have been murdering others.