Chapter 5: Dropping the Ego Now
This is the meaning of the resurrection of Jesus. It is not an historical fact, it is a parable. Jesus is crucified and then he resurrects. The man who was crucified is no more; that was the son of the carpenter, Jesus. Now Jesus is dead, crucified. A new entity arises out of that. Out of this death a new life is born. This is Christ - not the son of a particular carpenter in Bethlehem, not a Jew, not even a man. This is Christ, something new - egoless.
The same will happen to you whenever your ego is on the cross. Whenever your ego is crucified there is a resurrection, a rebirth. You are born again, and this childhood is eternal, because this is a rebirth of the spirit, not of the body. Now you will never become old. Always and always you will be fresh and young - as fresh as the dewdrop in the morning, as fresh as the first star in the night. You will always remain fresh, young, a child, innocent - because this is a resurrection of the spirit. This always happens in a moment.
Ego is time - the more time, the more ego. Ego needs time. If you penetrate deeply you may even be able to conceive that time only exists because of the ego. Time is not part of the physical world around you; time is part of the psychic world within you, the mind-world. Time exists just as a space for the ego to evolve and grow. Room is needed; time gives the room.
If it is said to you that this is the last moment of your life, next moment you are going to be shot dead, suddenly time disappears. You feel very uneasy. You are still alive, but suddenly you feel as if you are dying, and you can’t think what to do. Even to think becomes difficult, because even for thinking time is needed, future is needed. There is no tomorrow - then where to think, how to desire, how to hope? There is no time. Time is finished.
The greatest agony that can happen to a man happens when his death is fixed and he cannot avoid it, it is certain. A person who is sentenced, imprisoned, waiting for his death - the death is fixed - he cannot do anything about it. After a certain period he will die; beyond that time there is no tomorrow for him. Now he cannot desire, he cannot think, he cannot project, he cannot even dream. The barrier is always there. Then much agony follows. That agony is for the ego. Because ego cannot exist without time - ego breathes in time; time is breath for the ego - the more time, the more possibility for the ego.
In the East much has been worked out, much has been done to understand the ego, much probing has been done. And one of the findings is that unless time drops from you, ego will not drop. If the tomorrow exists the ego will exist. If there is no tomorrow how can you pull on the ego? It will be just like pulling a boat without the river. That will become a burden. A river is needed, then the boat can function.