Chapter 2: A Majority of One
The reality that we know is not the true reality; it is the reality seen through an ugly mind which projects itself on reality. We don’t see the real; we always see it colored with our own prejudices, ideas, our whole mind. And even that we see only while running. We never relax. We are constantly on the run, not knowing where we are going. Something just seems to be missing, and we are trying to find it everywhere, in all directions. And we will not find it anywhere because this mind will always be between you and the real, distorting the real.
In my presence, if you are receptive, if you are loving, your mind leaves you for a moment - it has to leave you. Something more important than your mind is happening. That’s what love means. You can even sacrifice yourself - in trust you sacrifice the mind. And the moment the mind is put aside and you see eye to eye with reality, it is so beautiful, indescribably beautiful. And in those moments certainly you will not feel that you even want to be enlightened. If this reality can go on and on forever, then what more can enlightenment give you?
And you are right, because this is the beginning of enlightenment. You have got just a glimpse, and even the glimpse makes you drop the desire for enlightenment - and dropping the desire makes enlightenment easily possible. It simply happens. One day suddenly you wake up in the morning and you are not the same person, and with your change the whole existence has changed. And then it is not a question of doing something to keep it; it remains with you.
In fact, even if you want to drop it, you cannot drop it. You cannot go back; you can only go forward. And one day, that day also comes in your life when enlightenment becomes so natural to you - just like breathing, just like the heartbeat, just like the blood running through your veins - that you don’t even feel it. And the blood is going really fast, round and round from feet to head, but we don’t feel it; we are born with it, we are accustomed to it.
When enlightenment becomes just a natural phenomenon, then the last mystery opens its door: one goes even beyond enlightenment. Going beyond enlightenment means one becomes just ordinary, part of this vast universe - without any claim, without any superiority, without any ego. One simply dissolves in the ocean of reality, just like a dewdrop in the morning sun slipping from the lotus leaf into the ocean. That is the last.. Then there is nothing else left to happen; you have become the ocean.
Enlightenment still keeps something of you - very fragile, but there is still some idea of “I.” And because of enlightenment, not knowingly, you are superior and you feel superior. That’s why the last step, when even that smallest part of “I” also dissolves.now you are neither superior nor inferior; you are not. Existence is. Buddha calls it “nirvana.” He has chosen the best word for it.
I used to listen to you without understanding and feel perfectly blissful - and I’ve heard you say that this is right listening. Lately I’ve had an intense desire to understand what you say. At first I was sad; it seemed I had taken a wrong turn. But it feels good: my head tingles and feels intensely alive. Is there anything I can do other than enjoy it?