Chapter 9: There’s No God till You’ve Met Him
To be with a master is to learn the secret that surrender brings you individuality. That is the paradox to be learnt, and that is a great liberation once you have learnt it.
Have you ever been in love or not? If you have loved a person you will know: love will make you more alone than anything else in the world. Love will make you so utterly alone that you will be surprised - because you think in love you dissolve yourself. Certainly, all that is non-essential dissolves. But because the non-essential dissolves, the essential comes very clear and loud. And your aloneness is your essential being.
Lovers become individuals - only lovers become individuals. And to fall in love with a master is the ultimate in love. The relationship between a disciple and a master is a love relationship. It is eros at the very peak. It is the highest form of love, the purest form of love. All other loves have certain other motives in them; they are motivated. And because they have certain motives in them, they are not pure. They are impure, polluted. There is some desire lurking, hence they remain crawling on the earth.
To fall in love with a Buddha, with a Christ, is to start flying into the sky. The disciples soar upwards, they enter into the world of the second law, the law of power, the law of grace. They are freed from the law of necessity, cause and effect. They are freed from gravitation; they start levitating in a metaphoric way, in a symbolic way. Their life enters into a totally new territory.
But if the fear is there, that simply means you have never tasted love yet. And because you are afraid, whatsoever you think about others is going to be wrong. Out of fear you cannot see; fear clouds the eyes, perception, clarity.
And there are only two ways: life can either be lived as eros, love, or as phobos, fear. And those who live life as phobos are unfortunate, because they will never know what life is. Only those who live life as eros will be able to know the innermost mysteries of existence. But eros demands surrender. In phobos no surrender is demanded.
You are not yet an individual - otherwise you would have seen a totally different quality in my sannyasins. My sannyasins are not dependent on me, not at all. Certainly they are learning, certainly they are imbibing me, but they are not dependent at all. In fact, they love me because I am making them more and more independent. Their love goes on growing as they become independent, as they are freed from all kinds of conditioning. As I go on throwing them upon themselves, their love becomes deeper and deeper, their gratitude becomes deeper and deeper.
You can never be grateful to a person who makes you dependent - you will hate the person. That’s why children hate their parents. I am not a father figure. At the most I am just a friend. From your side, in the beginning, you may be in search of a father figure. And if you fall into my trap, sooner or later you will recognize that you have misunderstood the whole thing - but now it is too late.