Chapter 8: Zen without Writing
If you love a person, love in itself is an experiencing, a moment-to-moment flow with no past being carried; the river remains fresh. But the mind says, “Possess this woman, possess this man, because who knows about the future? Possess! She may escape, she may go to somebody else, she may fall in love with someone else. Possess her and block all the ways of escape, close all the doors so she remains always yours.” The mind has entered and now this woman will be killed, now this man will be murdered. There will be a husband, there will be a wife, but there will not be two live persons.
And this is the mischief the mind goes on doing everywhere. The moment you say “I love,” it has become an experience, it is already dead. Loving is something else; it is a process. Why, when in love, can you not say “I love”? That would be profane. How can you say “I love”? In love you are not, the possessor is not, so how can you say “I love”? In love there is no ‘I’; love is there of course but you are not.
While an experience is alive, experiencing, there is no ego. The process is there and you can say love is there, but you cannot say “I love.” In that love you have dissolved, you are merged, melted. Love is greater than you. Anything live, alive, is greater than you. Dead.the mind can jump, just like a cat jumps on a mouse and catches hold of it. Truth cannot be delivered, there is no way to deliver it. Once delivered it is dead, it has already become untrue.
Lao Tzu insisted on not saying anything about truth his whole life. Whenever someone asked about truth he would say many things, but he would not say anything about truth; he would avoid it. In the end he was forced: disciples, lovers, forced him to write, because, “You have known something which is rarely known, you have become something which is unique - there will be no Lao Tzu again.” So he wrote a small book, Tao Te Ching, but the first thing he said in it was, “Tao cannot be said, truth cannot be uttered. And the moment you utter it, it is already false.” And then he said, “Now I can write at ease. I have declared the basic fact: uttered, truth becomes false; written, it has already gone wrong. Now I can write at ease.”
Why is the word false? One thing: it always belongs to the past. Another thing: the word in itself cannot carry the experience to you. I say I am silent. You hear the words; the word in itself cannot carry the experience to you. I say I am silent. You hear the words - the word silent is heard, but what do you understand? If you have never been silent, if you have never tasted it, if it has never stirred your heart, if it has never overwhelmed you, overpowered you, how can you understand? And if it has overpowered you, if there has been a gap when you disappeared and silence was there, there will be no need for me to talk about silence. The moment you see me you will know; the moment you come near me you will feel. The word will not be needed.
The word is needed because you don’t know, this is the problem. Because you don’t know the word is needed, so how can the word ex-press? That which you don’t know the word cannot say to you. The word may be heard, you may memorize it, you may understand the meaning written in the dictionary - what silence means is written in the dictionary, and you know it already - but that is not the meaning.