Chapter 10: The Body Is a Friend
So people who deny sex start eating more. You can watch it in life. Freely flowing, sexually flowing people will not be very fat, they will not eat too much. Love is so satisfying, love is so fulfilling they will not go on stuffing their body with food. When they can’t love, or when they can’t allow themselves to move into love, they start eating too much. That becomes a substitute activity.
Go and see Hindu monks. They go on gathering unnecessary fat. They become ugly. That is another extreme. At one extreme are Jaina monks who cannot eat because they are afraid that once they eat, food will release energy and the energy will immediately move to the incomplete desire waiting for it. First it goes to the uncompleted experience which is hanging in the middle - that is the first requirement, so energy moves there. The body has a certain economy: wherever energy is needed first, energy moves there first. There is a hierarchy of needs. A person who has been denying sex will have a hierarchy - sex will be first on the list. And whenever energy is available it will start moving to the most unfulfilled desire. So Jaina monks cannot eat well, they are afraid, and Hindu monks eat too much. The problem is the same, but they have solved it in two extreme ways.
If you eat too much you start getting a certain sexual enjoyment by eating, by filling your belly too much. Too much food brings lethargy. And too much food is always a substitute for love because the first thing the child comes in contact with is the mother’s breast. That breast is the first experience in the world and the breast gives two things to the child: love and food. So love and food become deeply entangled with each other.
Whenever love is missing, your childish mind will think, “Get more food. Supplement it.” Have you ever watched? When you are feeling very full of love your desire to eat disappears, you don’t feel so much appetite. But whenever love is missing, you start eating too much, you don’t know what to do now. Love was filling a certain space inside you, now that space is empty and you don’t know any other way to fill it than food. You create problems by denying nature, by rejecting nature.
So I would like to tell the questioner that it is not a question of meditation. Lady, you need love. You need a lover. And you need courage to move into it.
It is difficult to move into love - there are very hidden fears in it. Love creates as much fear as nothing else, because the moment you start approaching the other you have to go outside yourself. And who knows? The other may accept you or may reject you. The fear arises, you start feeling hesitant - whether to take the move or not, whether to approach the other or not. Hence all over the world the coward ages of the past have decided for marriage instead of love, because if people were left open to love, very few people would be able to love. Many more would die without love; they would live and drag out their lives without love.