Chapter 31: Watchfulness: The Essential Religion
You should not ask that everyone becomes like everybody else. In fact, everybody should be left to be himself or herself and respected the way the person is. Variety means many, many kinds of flowers in the garden. Just roses and roses will be boring. Amongst millions of other people, everybody has an uniqueness and is not boring, but helps the world in its variety, makes the garden richer.
Particularly, my emphasis is that you should always remember that whatever is natural to you is your destiny. What others are doing is good for them. You need not impose yourself on them, and you need not allow them to impose themselves on you.
Please help me! Now my boyfriend has been in Goa for five weeks and I’ve had such a good time enjoying the freedom and independence, no need to face my jealousy and possessiveness, just floating through the day. Now it looks as if he is coming back soon and I’m getting nervous already, wondering what he is doing, how it is going to be, if he found somebody else et cetera. What is this attachment to a particular person which creates all these comfortable and very uncomfortable feelings? I’m not really a meditative type, but is there any possibility to go beyond this attachment of the heart and feel free, or is the only way to live it, go through it, and suffer and enjoy the whole thing?
Latifa, I know your boyfriend. He will make anybody happy if he goes to Goa and remains there forever. But again, you are a German; you cannot be satisfied with anything less difficult. He is a challenge. So if you are becoming nervous, it is natural. And don’t be worried about his getting involved with any girl, because no girl will get involved with him.
I have thought about him and I think that only Latifa can manage him. He’s a crackpot - but you love him. You cannot love a simple human being. You are born for each other: neither can you find another boyfriend nor can he find another girlfriend. So don’t be worried about possessiveness or anything. You can be absolutely non-possessive - still he will be your boyfriend. Where else can he go? You are in a good, secured, guaranteed, insured condition.
In the first place, it is a miracle that you have found him. When I heard about it for the first time I said, “My God! Now something mysterious is going to happen. These two people together are going to create so much trouble.” But still, he’s attached to you, you are attached to him.
Mostly your love is fighting, and when you are tired of fighting you love also - but that is only when you are both tired. He will also be feeling nervous, because he has to come back. I have sent him only for six weeks. He left immediately the very moment he received my message: “Go to Goa.” He did not wait even a single day. He must have enjoyed those five weeks the way you have enjoyed them. Now you are feeling nervous, and he will be feeling nervous because six weeks will finally come to an end.