Chapter 34: Remain Authentic to Yourself
Your eyes are changing, they have become more silent. Your attitude, your approach, your relationships - everything will be changing. You will be less angry, less hateful, less jealous, more loving, more compassionate, more non-violent. They will feel it. And just this feeling will change their opinion.
Wait for the right moment. Just now, at the most they can think you are mad - let them think it! It makes no difference. Basically they already think that you are mad. No one thinks very good of you because no one thinks good of anyone except himself. What’s your opinion about your neighbors? What is your opinion about your wife? What is your opinion about your husband? Deep down everyone knows that the other is neurotic.
The wife knows the husband is a little bit crazy, neurotic. The husband knows the wife is mad, and thinks, somehow, to send her to an analyst. This is how everyone thinks about others - and everyone is right because everyone is mad!
So don’t be too worried about others. You can become individual only if you go beyond the opinion of others, if you go in your own way without being worried about what others think. Only then will you become an individual.
This word individual is beautiful. It means indivisible. If you follow the crowd you will always be fragmentary, divided. You cannot become a unity because the crowd is so big.
I have heard about a boy.
I was staying with a family, and they brought the boy to see me. He had become a little neurotic. I asked him “What is the matter?”
He said, “I am not neurotic, but my whole family is creating neurosis in me. My father thinks I should become a doctor, my mother thinks I should become an engineer. My uncle says, “This is nonsense. There is no need to become a doctor or an engineer. Become a scientist”- and they are all forcing me in different directions. I don’t know what I have come here to become, what my destiny is. Too many people are pulling me in too many directions. That is what is creating neurosis in me.”
If you follow the crowd you will be neurotic, fragmentary, because the crowd is big and everyone is pulling you in their own way, in their own direction. So you have many directions in your mind, in your being, you are being pulled in many directions. You are fragmentary.
Forget the crowd. Don’t allow anyone to pull you and push you. You are an individual, a free unit. Remain authentic to yourself, and sooner or later the crowd will recognize the change, the transformation, the mutation that has happened to you. Then they will follow you. Then they will ask for your advice.
This is the way of the crowd. First they will decry you. If you insist, secondly they will tolerate it. And if you still insist, thirdly they will worship you. That’s what always happens. So don’t be worried about it.
Now get ready for the night meditation.