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OSHO Online Library   »   The Books   »   Notes of a Madman
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Chapter 9: Session 9

Again, Jesus chose the twelve disciples, and among those twelve there was not a single woman. And yet on the cross when he was dying only three women were there. There was Magdalena.yes, I call her Magdalena, not Magdalene, because Magdalene looks less feminine than Magdalena. I have named some houses in the ashram after Magdalena. Sheela was asking me, “Isn’t the real name Magdalene, not Magdalena?” I said, “Don’t be worried about the real. What I say, follow it.”

Magdalena was there. Mary, Jesus’ mother, was there and Magdalena’s sister was there. All the so-called apostles were absent. But still Jesus chose Peter to be his successor. Lao Tzu was at least right in choosing Chuang Tzu, even though Chuang Tzu was a man. But Jesus was not right in choosing Peter.. As you can see, my eyes, my ears and my hands are all so full of Jesus.

Your laughter is so good, so beautiful.

Flowers are made of it.

Stars are born out of it.

Love is only a fragrance

of this flower.

Can there be

so much

goodness.?

I am such a con-man. Even my ears are trained, they hear only what they want to hear. My eyes are trained, they see only what they want to see - for the simple reason that I want to live the way I want. I have always lived according to my own way, right or wrong, I don’t care. If there is a God, and I have to face him, he will have to answer to me, not me answer to him.

I have lived my own way. I am not answerable to anybody. When you live according to somebody else you are always confused, and answerable to them; always trying to fulfill their expectations. I don’t expect anything from anybody, nor do I want anybody to expect from me. Freedom is my slogan. It is freedom that brings truth.

J. Krishnamurti’s first book is called The First and Last Freedom. In fact, after that he has not said anything new. That book contains his testament; since then he has been dead. It happens to many people. Kahlil Gibran died at the age of eighteen when he wrote The Prophet. In fact, he lived many, many years afterwards and wrote many books, but The Prophet remains unsurpassed.

Krishnamurti’s title is good: The First and Last Freedom. What is the first and last freedom? To be oneself, totally, utterly, without any consideration for any consequences.

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