Chapter 4: A Very Deep Balancing
When you wait for my glance you wait as you are, but when I come and knock at your door I have come to destroy you as you are, because I know that only then will the hidden within you be released. Then you become afraid.
People like freedom, but they are fearful also. When the freedom is not there they think about it, they dream about it, they fantasize, but when freedom comes they become afraid because freedom brings with it many more things than they ever thought about. Freedom brings insecurity. Freedom brings adventure, but insecurity also. Freedom brings a bigger sky, it gives you wings, but then the bigger sky can be dangerous also. Freedom is very dangerous. To live in freedom is to live dangerously. You come to me, you seek freedom, but deep down I see you are also saying, “Don’t make us free, please don’t push us into freedom. Let us cling to you, let us depend on you.” And you go on asking and praying, “Give us freedom.” With one hand you ask, with another hand you deny; one part of you says yes, another part of you goes on saying no.
Have you watched your mind? You say yes-no together. Maybe one is a little louder and the other is not so loud, maybe you are very cunning and you don’t listen to the other when you say the one, but just be a little watchful. Whenever you say yes, just by the side lingers the no. Then you are in a constant conflict. You would like for me to come to your door - but then you will close the door because I will come as I am, not as you expect me. I will come as I am, not according to your dreams.
Always remember to find the small causes for the things that happen in you and around you. Sometimes you start asking for very deep and great reasons which are not there - and particularly in the West for everything - because of the two hundred years of psychology, and the training in psychology and psychiatry. The knowledge of psychology has become common knowledge, everybody knows about it. People go on digging deep into small things which have nothing much in them, simple facts, and they go on bringing things up which are not at all connected.
Just this morning I was reading an anecdote.
A psychoanalyst and a friend were standing, looking at the sky through the window and discussing something. The psychoanalyst said, “Remarkable! Look!” Some work was going on. A building was to be demolished and a few laborers were working with barrows. He said, “Look, twelve persons are working with barrows - eleven are pushing them in front of them and one is pulling it. Eleven pushing, one pulling: there must be an explanation for it. There must be some deep-rooted inhibition in that man. Or something happened in childhood with his parents, something to do with a primal. There must be some deep-rooted problem involved. We must go and ask.” So they went down.