Chapter 17: Yes Is Your Soul
This fear grips everybody. When the river comes traveling thousands of miles from the mountains and the valleys and the plains to the ocean, for a moment it trembles. Those who can understand even the language of mountains and trees, those who are so sensitive they can feel.. There are many references from enlightened people that when the river comes to the ocean, for a moment it trembles. Great anxiety grips it. A moment of decision, a decision of tremendous importance - to go back?
But there is no way to go back. You cannot travel backwards in time. You have only one possibility: to go ahead. If the river cannot go back, at least it certainly looks back to all those beautiful mountains it descended, to all those beautiful primeval forests it passed, to all those beautiful people. All the memories.just a moment of looking back. But it cannot stay long; it has to take a plunge into the ocean, knowing perfectly well that “this is going to be my death.”
But it is not a death. The river itself becomes the ocean. It is the expansion of your consciousness, of your being. You are becoming synonymous with the universe.
You have to put aside your fear. If you don’t put aside your fear and you cling to it, there is danger, because once you start clinging to your tiny self there is no way to persuade you to take the jump.
That’s why I said, this is one of the fundamental functions of the master - to persuade you and show you that I have jumped and I am more alive than I have ever been. I have not lost anything; I have conquered the whole existence. Hence the master can say to you, “Come, follow me.”
There are complications in things. Unless you have a deep love for the master and an absolute trust, he will not be of any help in this moment of fear. Your trust and your love give nothing to the master, remember. They simply give you the opportunity to be courageous.
Just the other day one sannyasin asked me a question: “If I can say only yes and not no, then what kind of freedom is this?” You can say no, but remember that this freedom of saying no is the freedom of the tiny dewdrop that is saying no to the ocean.
Before you became a sannyasin the freedom was yours: you could have said no, you could have said yes. Once you have said yes, then your yes has to be total. There has not to be any space for no. Otherwise, when you need the yes, the more the no will arise in you. It will support your fear, it will support your ego, it will support your self.
I have no objection, because I am not going to lose anything. You can say no as loudly as you want. But remember, you have come here for a transformation, and only after the transformation will you know the real taste of freedom. What freedom can you have by just saying no or yes? Your yes is as stupid as your no. You are stupid!