Chapter 8: I'm Just Being to You
Hope means simply projecting the past into the future again. You loved a man yesterday, you want to love the man tomorrow also. And you know that yesterday was not a fulfillment, hence the hope; yesterday was not enough, hence the hope. You missed something yesterday. Now that missed gap is torturing you, it is creating agony. You hope that again tomorrow that man will be available to love you, and tomorrow you will really love.
But between yesterday and tomorrow is today. If you really want to love, then why not be herenow, today? Otherwise, when today will have become yesterday you will again start projecting it. Incomplete experiences are projected. Uncompleted desires are projected. If you really love totally this moment, you will never think about this moment again. It is finished, it is complete, it is perfect. It disappears, it leaves no trace on you.
This is what Krishnamurti calls “total act.” Total act creates no karma: it creates no chain, it creates no bondage. If it is total, you never remember it again; there is no point. We remember only something which has remained incomplete. Mind tends to complete things.
And you have so many incomplete experiences; they go on being projected into the future. The past is gone - now there is no way to complete them in the past; and the present is going out of your hands fast, slipping, so you don’t see any point, any possibility to complete them in the present. The future is long: you can project - this life, another life, this world, another world - you can project eternity. Then you are at ease. You say, “I am not at a loss; tomorrow is there. There will be another life.” But by and by, you are getting trapped in a wrong pattern. No, hope is not the right thing.
Live in the present so deeply, so completely, that nothing is left. Then there will be no projection. You will move very smoothly into tomorrow without carrying any load from today. And when there is no yesterday haunting you, then there is no tomorrow. When the past is not hanging around you, there is no future.
Pradeepa has understood rightly - that’s what I was trying to show her. Hope is an illness, a disease of the mind. It is hope that is not allowing you to live. Hope is not the friend, remember; it is the foe. It is because of hope that you go on postponing. But you will remain the same tomorrow also, and tomorrow also you will hope for some future. And this way it can go on for eternity, and you can go on missing. Stop postponing. And who knows what the future is going to reveal to you? There is no way to know about it. It is an opening; all alternatives are open. What is really going to happen, nobody can predict. People have tried.
That’s why people go to astrologers, to I Ching, and to other sorts of things. I Ching goes on fascinating people, astrologers go on influencing people. Astrology still seems to be a great force. Why? - because people are missing and are hoping for the future. They want some clue to know what is going to happen so they can arrange it that way.