Chapter 54: The Fire of Awareness
So whenever you want to ask a question, first make it existential. Before giving me the question, test whether whatsoever you are asking is relevant or not. Such questions look relevant, just verbally, but they are like this: I say that the light has been put on, and then I ask, “The light has been put on and still the darkness remains, so what is to be done with darkness?” The only thing is that the light is still off, it has not been put on, otherwise how can the darkness remain? And if the darkness is there, then the light is not there. And if the light is there, then the darkness is not there. They cannot be both together.
Awareness and the ego cannot be together. If awareness has come on, if it is there, the ego has disappeared. This is simultaneous; there is not even a single second’s gap. The light is on and the darkness has disappeared. It is not that it disappears by and by, in steps, gradually. You cannot see it going outside; you cannot say that now the darkness is going out.
The light is there, and the darkness is immediately not there. There is not a single moment’s gap, because if there is a gap then you can see darkness moving out. And if there is a single moment’s gap, then there is no reason why there can’t be a gap of one hour. There is no gap. The act is simultaneous. Really, the coming of the light and the going out of the darkness are two aspects of one phenomenon.
The same happens with awareness: when you are aware, the ego is not. But the ego can go on playing tricks, and the ego can say, “I am aware.” The ego can say, “I am aware,” and can fool you. Then the question will arise. And the ego wants to accumulate everything, even awareness. The ego not only wants wealth, power, and prestige; it wants meditation also, it wants samadhi also, it wants enlightenment also.
The ego wants everything. That which is possible must be possessed. The ego wants to possess everything - even meditation, samadhi, nirvana. So the ego can say, “Now I have achieved meditation,” and then the question will arise. The meditation has been achieved, the awareness has come, but the ego remains, the misery remains. The whole burden of the past remains. Nothing changes.
The ego is a very subtle braggart. Be aware of it. It can deceive you. And it can use words, it can verbalize things. It can verbalize anything, even nirvana.
I have heard that once it happened that two butterflies were winging their way through the canyons of New York. Just passing near the Empire State Building, the male butterfly said to the female, “You know, if I wanted to, just with one blow I could cause this Empire State Building to collapse.”
One wise man happened to be there who heard this remark, so he called that male butterfly and asked, “What were you saying? You know very well that you cannot cause that Empire State Building to collapse with a single blow. You know it well, there is no need to tell you, so why did you say such a thing?”
The male butterfly said, “Excuse me, sir. I am very sorry. I was just trying to influence my girlfriend.”
The wise man said, “Don’t do it,” and dismissed the butterfly.
The male butterfly went back to his girlfriend. Of course, the girlfriend asked, “What was the wise guy saying to you?”