Chapter 32: Only Your Original Face Can Become Enlightened
You cannot make the effort - one thing. Every effort is going to be a failure - another thing. Unless you learn that every effort fails, you cannot get the knack. But once in a while when your mind is getting ready to go to sleep - in-between, when you are still awake, and the mind is relaxing to go into sleep - suddenly, witnessing happens. You have got the knack!
Now don’t ask me what it is. That may destroy even your night witnessing, because you may start trying it. Just let it happen as it is happening in the night. You can, at the most, create the same atmosphere whenever you want it to happen, and wait. You cannot force it.
One has to learn a great lesson - that there are things beyond you which you cannot force; you can only remain open, available, waiting, and they come.
The moment you become tense to get hold of them, they slip away.
It is just like, in the open fist you have all the air possible. With the closed fist all the air disappears. You may be thinking that with a closed fist you are catching hold of the air. No, it has slipped out. It does not belong to the closed fist, it belongs only to the open hand - and it is easily available. You just have to see when it happens, what the surroundings are.
The surroundings mean you are going into sleep, you are tired of the whole day’s work - you don’t want to work anymore. In the gap, before the mind slips into sleep and you lose consciousness - the mind is preparing, is getting ready to go into sleep, but you are still awake - in that minute gap, witnessing happens.
Now, you cannot try the knack.
You can simply create the outer situation.
In the day, anytime, let the mind go into relaxation. Don’t try - as if you are going to create witnessing: you are simply allowing mind to rest. And at a certain point, that same gap will appear, and in the gap descends the witness.
This is the mystery of a knack - its strangeness and its simplicity too.
Small children love someone running after them. Even though they run away as fast as they can, finally they want to be caught.
Something similar seems to be going on between master and disciple. It is so hilarious, yet sad also, because with my fear of spontaneity, I prevent you from catching me, even though I want to be caught.
It is exactly the true description of what is happening between a master and a disciple. And the similarity with children is significant.
The master has already become a child - the disciple is on the way to becoming a child. But this is the whole game of existence. It looks contradictory through the eyes of logic. That’s why I insistently emphasize that logic is not the way of life; it does not describe life. And what it describes is something dead.
Life functions through strange contradictions.