Chapter 4: Madness or Meditation
We are not only deceiving others, we are also deceiving ourselves. Really, we cannot deceive others if we have not already deceived ourselves. So we have to believe in our own lies, only then can we make others believe. If you don’t believe in your lies nobody else is going to be deceived.
And this whole nuisance that you call your life leads nowhere. It is a mad affair. You work too much, you overwork; you walk and run. And the whole life you struggle and you reach nowhere. You don’t know from where you are coming, you don’t know where you are moving, to where you are going. If you meet a man on the road and you ask him, “Where are you coming from, sir?” and he says, “I don’t know,” and you ask him, “Where are you going,” and he says, “I don’t know,” and still he says, “Don’t prevent me, I am in a hurry,” what will you think about him? You will think he is mad.
If you don’t know where you are coming from and where you are going to, then what is the hurry? But this is the situation of everybody, and everybody is on the road. Life is a road - you are always in the middle - and you don’t know where you have come from, you don’t know where you are going. You have no knowledge of the source, no knowledge of the goal, but you are in a great hurry, making every effort to reach nowhere.
What type of sanity is this? And out of this whole struggle not even glimpses of happiness come to you - not even glimpses. You simply hope someday, somewhere, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow - or after death, in some afterlife - that happiness is waiting for you. This is just a trick just to postpone, just so as not to feel too miserable right now.
You don’t even have glimpses of bliss. What type of sanity is this? Continuous misery - and over and above, that misery is not created by anybody else. You create your suffering. What type of sanity is this? You create your suffering continuously! I call it madness.
Sanity will be this: you will become aware that you are not centered. So the first thing to be done is to be centered, to get centered - to have a center within yourself from where you can lead your life, from where you can discipline your life; to have a master within you from where you can direct, you can move. The first thing is to be crystallized, and then the second thing will be not to create suffering for yourself. Drop all that creates suffering, all those motives, desires, hopes which create suffering.
But you are not aware. You simply go on doing it, you don’t see that you create it. Whatsoever you do, you are sowing some seeds. Then trees will follow, and whatsoever you have sown you will reap it. And whenever you reap anything there is suffering, but you never look that these seeds were sown by you. Whenever suffering happens to you, you think it is coming from somewhere else. You think it is some accident or that some evil forces are working against you. So you have invented the Devil.