Chapter 32: A Vision of the Whole
And in a way because the riches, the wealth, the power, have deceived.they were looking so beautiful from far away, but as you came closer you found out it is not so. The oasis was only an appearance, it had no existence. It was a hallucination created by your thirst, by your longing, by your desire.
Then the mind turns one hundred and eighty degrees. It becomes antagonistic to the same things for which it has lived up to now. It starts thinking of renouncing the world, renouncing the riches, renouncing desire, living a simple life - a life of silence, a life of meditation - and forgetting all about this nonsense.
This had happened in Buddha’s time in the East. The East was known as a golden bird - and it was; otherwise it is impossible for thousands of sannyasins of different denominations to live just by begging. If the country was poor, who was going to give to these people - clothes, food, shelter? And they were there in thousands. Buddha alone moved with ten thousand sannyasins. Mahavira moved with ten thousand sannyasins. And there were eight teachers in the small state of Bihar alone, and they all had thousands of followers and they all had come from royal families - disgusted, disillusioned, disappointed.
Naturally, they were so much against wealth, against comfort, against luxury, they forgot completely that they were not being objective; these are your subjective reactions. You had hoped for much and found nothing. That does not mean that comfort is useless. It simply means you have asked too much - which is not in the power of comfort to supply to you. You had asked too much - which money cannot give to you. You were thinking that when you have all the money you will relax, you will enjoy. But the way it works is that while you were earning money, you were also earning tensions, side by side.
As you were progressing toward your goal of desire, you were becoming more and more tense, more and more violent. At any cost, the goal has to be achieved. Even if the means are not good, it doesn’t matter; the goal has to be achieved. You did everything right or wrong to reach to your goal, hoping that after that you will be able to relax in silence, in peace, and you will have a meditative life. But you miscalculated.
You do not understand the arithmetic of life. For sixty years a person runs after desires, remains tense, dreams of wealth, thinks only of wealth, and then suddenly at sixty he has achieved it. But the mind has learned a habit - sixty years is a long time: you may have achieved the wealth, but the mind goes on playing the old game, the old routine, the old dreams. And you don’t know how to get rid of them because those mental agonies have been created by your desire for wealth, desire for a beautiful woman, desire for a beautiful house; you turn bitter. It is a reactionary attitude; you react. You think it is because of those things that you are caught up in a tense life and you are not able to get out of it.