Chapter 32: “No Fight” Is the Central Teaching
It is very difficult to get rid of the mahatmas, they are already there even while you are making love. You are not two; one mahatma must be there. If there is no mahatma, then God is watching you doing this sin. The concept of God in people’s minds is just that of a Peeping Tom - he is always watching you. This attitude creates anxiety, and when anxiety is there ejaculation comes soon.
When there is no anxiety, ejaculation can be postponed for hours - even for days. And there is no need of it. If the love is deep, both parties can invigorate each other. Then ejaculation completely ceases, and for years two lovers can meet with each other without any ejaculation, without any wastage of energy. They can just relax with each other. Their bodies meet and relax; they enter sex and relax. And sooner or later, sex will not be an excitement. It is an excitement right now. Then it is not an excitement, it is a relaxation, a deep let-go.
But that can happen only if you have first surrendered inside to the life energy - the life force. Only then can you surrender to your lover or beloved. Tantra says, this happens, and it says how it can happen.
Tantra says, never make love while you are excited. This seems very absurd because you want to make love when you are excited. And normally, both partners excite each other in order that they can make love. But Tantra says that in excitement you are wasting energy. Make love while you are calm, serene, meditative. First meditate, then make love, and when making love do not go beyond the limit. What do I mean by “do not go beyond the limit”? Do not become excited and violent, in order that your energy will not be dispersed.
If you see two persons making love you will feel that they are fighting. If small children sometimes see their father and mother making love, they think the father is going to kill the mother. It looks violent; it looks like a fight. It is not beautiful, it looks ugly.
It must be more musical, harmonious. The two partners must be as if they are dancing, not fighting - as if singing one harmonious melody, just creating an atmosphere in which both may dissolve and become one. And then they relax. This is what Tantra means. Tantra is not sexual at all, Tantra is the least sexual thing and yet it has so much concern with sex. And if through this relaxation and let-go nature reveals to you its secrets, it is no wonder. Then you begin to be aware of what is happening. And in that awareness of what is happening many secrets come to your mind.
Firstly, sex becomes life-giving. As it is now it is death giving, you are simply dying through it, wasting yourself, deteriorating. Secondly, it becomes the deepest natural meditation. Your thoughts cease completely. When you are totally relaxed with your lover, your thoughts cease. The mind is not there, only your heart beats. It becomes a natural meditation. And if love cannot help you into meditation, nothing will help, because everything else is just superfluous, superficial. If love cannot help, nothing will help!