Chapter 4: Living by Loving
Because I have allowed my sannyasins to hug and kiss I am condemned all over the country, that I am telling my people to be indulgent. If this is indulgence, then let it be indulgence. This is not indulgence at all; there is something more in it. I am telling to you to be loving, and just sitting with somebody and telling him again and again, “I love you,” is not enough. At least hold the hand! Make it a reality - hug the person.
A very shy Englishman.and he must be very shy, otherwise just to be an Englishman is enough; there is no need to use the adjective shy. They are all shy! They are the most perfect gentlemen in the world - and, of course, in the same proportion they are dead too! Who has ever heard about a gentleman who is alive? If you are alive you are a man, why gentle? For what? Corpses are always gentle: they cannot do any harm, and they look so polite, so humble!
This shy gentleman was seeing a young woman for months. One full-moon night they were sitting together in the porch, looking into the garden, and beyond the garden the moon was rising. And the shy Englishman gathered courage; it must have been a real, great mighty effort! My own feeling is it must have been because of the moon; the moon drives people crazy, hence the word lunatic. Lunatic means “struck by the moon.” Lunatic comes from lunar, the moon - the moonstruck. He must have gone lunatic.
He asked the lady, “Can I - can I kiss you?”
And the lady was really getting tired, so she said, “What do you think? Am I waiting here for a bus?”
When you love a person just verbal expressions are not enough, words are not enough, something more substantial is needed, words are only abstract. You have to do something. Hold the hand, hug the person, kiss the person, embrace the person. It is going to help you both - if you can melt in the hug you both will become again younger, fresher, livelier. And that’s the whole process of healing.
Analysis is the way of the mind, hugging is the way of the heart. The mind is the cause of all diseases and the heart is the source of all healing.
The second question:
I have a lot of fantasies, especially sexual ones. Even though I see how they are taking me away from life here and now, I let myself be dominated by them. According to astrology, a Scorpio has especially strong sexual desires. I am a Scorpio.
Have my fantasies anything to do with that? I would like to drop them because they make it difficult for me to relax and I think they are a large part of my prison. Could you please indicate a way?