Chapter 3: Love Is a Resurrection
They are giving something to each other which is immensely valuable, but mixed with poison. They cannot live separately and they cannot live together. If they are separate they start missing the joy that was happening through the other; if they are together, the poison is too much - and one starts thinking: Is the joy worth it? Because you have to depend on the other! When you depend on the other, your freedom is destroyed, your freedom becomes defined, confined, limited. You cannot open yourself as you would like to open. You have always to look to the other and the other’s feelings. You feel prevented, hindered. And the other starts possessing you, the other starts becoming powerful over you - because the other knows that it is through him or her that you feel joy.
Man started looking for the same experience without becoming dependent on the other. Then, if it depends only on sexual experience, it cannot last forever. You can have sex once in a while - and what about the other times? All other times you will remain dull and dead. Is it possible to have that joy continuously, as a continuum, like a river flowing always?
These were the speculations of man, but they came from sleep and love. In love sometimes it happens, and that is the moment which is called orgasm. If time stops, if thinking stops, and you are utterly herenow, it is orgasmic.
This orgasmic experience will give you the taste. I cannot define it, but I can indicate ways how to feel it.
If you have some aesthetic sense, then some aesthetic experience will give you the taste. Seeing a sunset, if you have the heart of a painter, the heart stops; you start missing beats. The sun is setting, just falling and falling.and a moment more and it will be gone. And all that color in the clouds, and all that sublime beauty! And the birds returning back to their homes, and the silence settling on the earth, and the trees getting ready to go to bed, and the whole of nature saying good-bye to the sun.. If you have the aesthetic heart, if you are a poet or a painter or a musician, if you know what beauty is, if you are affected by beauty, not so-so but tremendously, if beauty gives you awe - then you will know what herenow is.
Or listening to music it happens sometimes. There is nothing more meditational than music. Or if you can play some instrument yourself, then it is far better - because Listening you remain on the periphery; playing you are at the center. If playing some instrument - playing a flute or sitar or guitar - and you are lost into it, absolutely lost into it, time stops, mind is no more there, a buddha moment arrives, and you know what herenow is.
Or if you can dance - which seems to me the most profound experience - if you can dance and dance so deeply that the dancer disappears, only the dance remains, then again you will be herenow.
I cannot define it, but I can indicate a few things. You will have to experience it. It is a taste! If you ask me how sugar tastes, how can I define it? I can say it is sweet, but that will not make much sense - it will be a tautology. You were asking what sweet is; I have simply substituted another word for it. If I say to be herenow means to be in the present, I am not saying anything - I am simply substituting another word for it. That’s what dictionaries go on doing.