Chapter 8: Tozan’s Five Pounds
The question is very philosophical; all questions are like this. Many ask where a buddha goes when he dies; the question is the same. Where is God? - the question is the same. What is truth? - the question is the same. But you cannot feel the stupidity hidden in them, because they look very profound, and they have a long tradition - people have always been asking them, and people whom you think very great have been concerned with them: theorizing, finding answers, creating systems.but the whole effort is useless because only experience can give you the answer, not thinking. And if you go on thinking you will become more and more mad, and the answer will still be far away - farther away than ever.
Buddha says: When the mind stops questioning, the answer happens. It is because you are so much concerned with questions that the answer cannot enter you. You are in such trouble, you are so disturbed, so very tense, the reality cannot enter into you - you are shaking so much inside, trembling with fear, with neurosis, with stupid questions and answers, with systems, philosophies, theories; you are so filled up.
Mulla Nasruddin was passing through a village in his car. Many crowds were gathered at many spots, and he was worried - what is the matter? Nobody was on the streets, everybody was gathered somewhere or other. Then he saw a policeman, and he stopped him and asked, “What is the matter? Has something gone wrong? What has happened? I don’t see people anywhere, working, moving, in the shops.they are gathered in many crowds!”
The policeman could not believe his ears; he said, “What are you asking? There has been an earthquake just now! Many houses have fallen, many people are dead!” Then the policeman said, “I cannot believe that you couldn’t feel the earthquake!”
Nasruddin said, “Because of alcohol I am always shaking so much, my hands are so jittery, that I missed it.”
If an earthquake is going on inside you continuously, then a real earthquake will not be capable of entering you. When you are silent and still, then the reality happens. And questioning is a trembling inside. Questioning means doubt, doubt means trembling. Questioning means you don’t trust anything - everything has become a question, and when everything is a question there will be very much anxiety. Have you observed yourself? Everything becomes a question. If you are miserable, it is a question: Why? Even if you are happy, it is a question: Why? You cannot believe yourself being happy.
People come to me when meditation goes deeper and they have glimpses, they come to me very disturbed because, they say, something is happening, and they cannot believe that it is happening to them, that a bliss can happen - there must be some deception. People have said to me, “Are you hypnotizing? - because something is happening!” They cannot believe that they can be blissful, somebody must be hypnotizing them. They cannot believe that they can be silent - impossible! “Why? Why am I silent? Somebody is playing a trick!”
Trust is not possible for a questioning mind. Immediately experience is there, the mind creates a question: Why? The flower is there - if you trust, you will feel a beauty, a blooming of beauty; but the mind says: Why? Why is this flower called beautiful? What is beauty? - you are going astray. You are in love, the mind asks: Why, what is love?