Chapter 3: Truth Is in the Middle
That’s why Buddha says: Be a driftwood. You can be a driftwood only if you have dropped the idea of “I” - otherwise you cannot be a driftwood. Struggle will persist. That’s why it becomes so difficult when you come to meditate. If I say to just sit silently, you cannot do that - such a simple thing. One would think it is the most simple thing; there should be no need to teach it. One should simply sit and be. But you cannot sit because the “I” cannot allow you a moment of relaxation. Once a moment of relaxation is allowed, you will be able to see reality. Once reality is known, the “I” will have to be dropped. Then it cannot persist. So the “I” never even allows you a holiday. Even if you go to the hills, to the summer resorts, the “I” never allows you a holiday even there. You take your radio, you take your TV set, you take all your problems and you remain occupied. There, at a hill station, you had gone to relax, but you continue your whole pattern in the same way. You don’t relax.
The “I” cannot relax. It exists through tensions. It will create new tensions, it will create new worries, it will constantly manufacture new problems, it won’t allow you any rest. Even a minute’s rest and the whole house of the “I” starts toppling down - because the reality is so beautiful and the “I” is so ugly. One continues to fight his way unnecessarily. You are fighting for things which are going to happen of their own accord. You are unnecessarily fighting. You are desiring things which are going to be yours if you don’t desire. In fact, by desiring you will lose them.
That’s why Buddha says: Float with the stream. Let it take you to the ocean.
Mine, me, you, I - this is the trap. And this trap creates misery, neurosis, madness.
Now the problem is: the child has to go through it, because he does not know who he is and he needs some sort of identity - maybe a false identity, but it is better than no identity. He needs some identity. He needs to know exactly who he is, so a false center is created. The “I” is not your real center. It is a false center - utilitarian, make-believe, just manufactured by you. It has nothing to do with your real center. Your real center is the center of all. Your real self is the self of all. At the center, the whole existence is one - just as at the source of light, the sun, all rays are one. The farther away they go, the farther away they are from each other.
Your real center is not only your center, it is the center of the whole. But we have created small centers of our own, homemade, manufactured by ourselves. There is a need.because the child is born without any boundary, with no idea of who he is. It is a survival necessity. How will he survive? He has to be given a name, he has to be given an idea of who he is. Of course this idea comes from the outside; somebody says you are beautiful, somebody says you are intelligent, somebody says you are so vital. You gather the things that people say. Out of all that people say about you, you gather a certain image. You never look into yourself, at who you are. This image is going to be false - because nobody else can know who you are, and nobody else can say who you are. Your inner reality is not available to anybody else except you. Your inner reality is impenetrable to anybody else except you. Only you can be there.
The day you realize that your identity is false, put together - you have collected opinions from people..